New diagnosis and new relationship!

Hi Flopsie

Welcome to the forum and sorry to hear that you have been diagnosed with breast cancer.  I coped with the wait between appointments by keeping busy.  It's perfectly understandable that that you are having negative thoughts a cancer diagnosis is a lot to take in.  Things should start to get a lot clearer once you know your treatment plan.

Wishing you the best of luck with your appointment on Wednesday.

Best wishes

Daisy53

Hello Flopsie  the waiting for a treatment plan is hard and emotions tend to yo-yo all over the place in that window of time. 

I’m 49 and have seen single for 3 years. Ironically I have a first date this Saturday, and I’m literally only going to get myself out the house and have hopefully a nice evening for a change. I have absolutely no expectations of anything coming if it (the narrative in my head for the past two months since my diagnosis being… who in their right mind would want to take me on with a new cancer diagnosis to boot ). It’s a peculiar scenario to find oneself in that’s for sure!

I think if I were in your shoes I’d just literally sit him down and as honestly as I could tell him exactly how I was feeling as succinctly as possible without making it too heavy or emotion on myself (things are hard enough for you right now).
A new relationship is supposed to be fun, so tell him that at this time what you would most appreciate is some fun moments out doing something nice keeping expectations low so you can both enjoy each others company and give you some non cancer thought time. 
Try perhaps to put less emphasis on the future potential of the relationship and try more to focus on the immediate value of having something to enjoy in the present no matter what might transpire in the longer term. 

My mum lost her first fiancé age 21 due to a car accident but had sat with him every day for a year until they eventually turned of his life support. She always said to us what will be will be, make the most of now because we never know what tomorrow holds and if it hadn’t been for that life experience she wouldn’t have married my dad 7 years later and had me and my brother. 

If your fellow is a keeper, then it’s meant to be, but first love yourself the most for now  and if he offers support take it don’t push him away, we all need help at this difficult time and often it comes from places we least expect it. 

Fingers crossed for some helpful news for you on Wednesday 

Hi Flopsie, I completely agree about the waiting - its really hard.  I was diagnosed early October with what they thought was a small lump and no lymph nodes.  Fast forward 6 weeks or so and biopsies and MRIs it was actually cancer in both breasts which had spread to my lymph nodes.  I had surgery 15 December (therapeutic mammoplasty) which has been successful.  Saw oncologist on Monday and plan is chemo followed by radiotherapy but I have to have a CT scan first to check if it has gone anywhere else which could change the plan.  I try hard to take each step as it comes and not fast forward but its very hard and find that I will often cry which is so not me.

In terms of your new relationship I would be honest and see what he says - if he's a keeper that's great but better to know.

Good luck with your appointment. xx

 I can't imagine how overwhelming this must be for you. I haven't been in your exact situation, but I've seen loved ones deal with similar challenges. It's completely natural to feel stressed and anxious with a new diagnosis and a new relationship. Remember, it's okay to share your feelings with your partner. Open communication can make your bond stronger. You can find more advice at Walking Towards Love. I hope that helps!