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Hi Billy. Other women's experience may have been worse, but that does not make yours any better, and losing a breast is not an insignificant event regardless of anything else. While it is good they moved fast, it also sounds like you did not have a lot of time to digest what was happening before the breast was gone. There are others here who feel exactly as you do -- mutilated -- and the fact that it was for a good cause does not make that any better either. Some people compare it to feelings they had experienced while mourning for a loved one.

After my mastectomy I was referred to someone in the hospital who does wigs and prostheses. Are you able to ask for such a referral where you are? If so, they could help find a suitable bra. 

Hi GreyCats, thanks for your kind words. I have seen the prothesis specialist and been fitted to with a breast form, it's just taking time to get the right fit. She was great and showed me a bra as well but when I came to order one there were none in stock in my size, in all the stockists I tried! I was doing ok until  then but suddenly felt that I must be the only big boobed woman ever to have had a mastectomy - ridiculous but I got so upset. One company told me that their suppliers were in Germany, where 'large breasted ladies are automatically offered a breast reduction on the other side'! Oh ok so I have to mutilate my other breast so I can get underwear to fit?! It was the last straw. I have found a bra but the range available for larger cup sizes is very limited, which I just hadn't expected. Ah well. I'm cancer free so must be (and definitely am) grateful for that 

Yeah, they don't seem to offer much sometimes, and they do say stupid things sometimes. Are you able to get hold again of the prostheses specialist? She may have some further advice, so may be worth trying. There is absolutely no reason why you should compromise your beautiful breast size, and if the choice of ready-made bras is too limited, tne specialist may be able to help with going for a bespoke bra too, which would then have the advantage of being made exactly to you size and body shape in every way, as well as in terms of appearance and colour. Just thinking out loud here, wondering if this might be a good solution.

Yes I plan to contact her again this week. 

A bespoke bra, I wouldn't have thought of that! Certainly something to look into. Thank you so much for your thoughts and support, it's very much appreciated .️

Everything you describe is completely natural and understandable. I'm having third attempt at clear margin end of Feb and part of my thinks I should of just opted for mastectomy as it's inevitable but we all have to do what's right for ourselves. It's so hard to be strong all the time and sometimes I just feel such a wave of sadness that I'm never gonna be me again. 

Try to take each day as it comes if your sad have a cry if your happy laugh!!! Sounds simple but don't feel bad for being happy. I often said I'm lucky compared to some but actually I'm not bloody lucky none of us here are but we can fight for that bit of extra luck we need.  Xxx

Thank you Lfc74. I'm sorry you're facing more surgery, it's awful isn't it. I can totally relate to your sadness at not being you. Though of course underneath your altered silhouette you are still brave beautiful you, battling on against this disease and giving support and to encouragement to others. Look after yourself x