Hello my first time on here

Hello Tiggy, so sorry you’re going through this, and with your husbands dementia it must make it quite a lonely experience. This forum is very supportive though and I’ve also phoned the Macmillan helpline for support and they’ve been fantastic. Doesn’t matter your age, a mastectomy is a massive big deal. I’ve already had some surgery but I’m also having a mastectomy- mines next Friday. I hope you’ll have help yourself when you come out of hospital. You won’t be able to lift things or drive for some time and you’ll need help with the housework. I hope your son in law is good with the home because you’ll need back up. All the best to you.

Thank you, I hope your procedure goes well and that you have support at home.

I’m glad I’ve joined this forum, I’m quite frightened about my recovery but not the surgery. I just want to get it over with. I chose a mastectomy instead of a lumpectomy because I wanted to avoid, if possible, radiotherapy. I couldn’t imagine how I would be able to leave my partner and get to our nearest hospital every day for weeks on end. We don’t have family nearby.

Hi 

I am so sorry that you have joined us here. It must be so hard for you my love, you mustn't think you're alone. All us here will help you through best we can. My mastectomy is also Tuesday, so will be thinking of you too as we journey together into the unknown. 

You sound to me as you've got things in place for your hubby and you're a super strong lady! Bless you. I also do hope you have got someone there to help you post your surgery too...as you cannot do certain things for yourself.

I don't think people who are not directly impacted will ever fully understand what you're having to go through. But don't discount them to help you like getting you to/fro hospital, cook or clean for you and various bits and bobs. Make sure one of them call you to check in? I don't mind doing this if you want to message me privately. I won't impose as we do not know each other that well but I just wanted to assure you and hope you feel supported.

Best of luck Tuesday and you take good care of yourself. Will be thinking of you 

C x

Goodness, what a relief it is to hear such kindness, friends are lovely but can’t be expected to understand our fears. I shall be thinking of you on Tuesday and hope to catch up afterwards. I’m coming home on Wednesday and will try to avoid the enthusiastic greeting from my cockerpoo, she is my lifesaver, unconditional love, well, as long as I feed her.

Wow you've got your hands full, wishing you the best of luck. Take care and accept all the help you can get

I have 5 quails and they also keep me company although I may not be near them for a while till I properly heal. Know what you mean about pet loyalty.

I am expected to stay overnight too back home Wednesday. We can talk again then but in the meantime if you have any wobbles get on here OK? 

I have my hospital bag packed, front opening pj's, some pastilles, slippers heart shaped pillow, dressing gown and vanity bag.

Let's chat again then Tiggy. Sending you healing vibes

C x

I’m only just realising how important other people are going to be. I’ve been a carer for my partner for almost 5 years and it sadly becomes a way of life. I shall txt those lovely people who have offered me help and accept their kindness with both hands!

I am so glad I found you all! 

Hi there, just resting your post and wanted to send positive thoughts for Tuesday.  And yes, take all the help yous re offered snd don't feel embarrassed about it. I have learnt that people do like to feel useful but sometimes don't want to push, but are always happy to be asked. Best of luck x

I’m a carer too. I have an adult autistic son. Fortunately my other half can help but the thought of leaving those two together… should I just emigrate in stead?

Ohhh hugs Ana, your a strong lady, but you just now need to focus on yourself for a bit, they both will somehow find a way to cope while you're in recovery. I know nothing I can say will be able to comfort you because you feel you always have to be there for your son, however if you channel all your energy towards mending your body..then you will heal a lot faster perhaps?

Wish I could do more. Is there any relative or friend you can count on? My family are all elsewhere and friends well...none who will put their hands up in the way I would like to.

I hope you're keeping positive in run up to next Friday.

C x