Shocked and nervous

One of my favourite expressions is "Here have some great advice, I'm not using it".  I think this applies here.  Anxiety by itself is an awful condition couple that with the uncertainties of breast cancer and I'm not surprised you are feeling the way you do.  Is there anyway to find out more?  Do you have a breast cancer nurse?  I was lucky I plugged the person who took my biopsies for information, I still don't know of her title, but asked if there was cancer what was the worst case scenario. I promised I wouldn't hold her to anything but she had seen enough to have a fair idea.  She said if it was cancer, which it was in the end, then it would be a lumpectomy and radiotherapy.  I figured I'd keep my boob and my hair so could cope with that and everything else less than that was a bonus.

It is cancer, with a micro invasion, I still don't understand everything and have loads of questions.

If you can find some certainties, you may feel better, is there anyone you can call to find out what the expectations are.  I called in to the secretary to ask for updates on my appointments, this did help as I knew what was happening and when rather than waiting for letters to land.  I am the world's worst at waiting for appointments. I am also lucky that it's covered with BUPA so I got busy making private appointments.  In the end the lumpectomy was done quicker on the NHS and i couldn't have been treated better anywhere, so grateful.

I was also told to control what I can as most of this is out of my control.  For me this meant I decided who to tell and when, graduating it between my son and my mum and my boss only.  When I was ready I told everyone, there was a certain freedom in it no longer being a secret but that had to be done on my terms, in my time.  

I am so sorry I have no answers, only anecdotes of how it is for me.  I'm now waiting for the biopsy results and this will be another 4-5 weeks, then radiotherapy if it all goes well.  If you need extra support with the anxiety and you're not already getting help with this then reach out, there is help out there, not much right now I know but contact your GP too if you need to.  My son suffers with anxiety so I know how debilitating this can be. Be kind to yourself and keep busy.

Nora H

Thanks you for you cared message 

Very helpful xx

this is almost exactly what happened to me and i was just shocked. My advice is don’t bottle up how you feel - and whatever you fear it likely won’t be as bad as that. i ended up with a mastectomy and having chemo - you will be stronger than you think x

• Issylid

Thanks you fot your comments 

Although I do agree with what you have said, it is not always possible to get the info out of the people who do the biopsies. Although extraordinarily kind, none of them would give me information, citing the fact that when they had said something to patients about their "areas of concern" whatever they said was kind of held against them in some way or another, and so the policy was not to reveal anything. I found this really frustrating and it was not until I saw the Breast Surgeon that anything became clear to me. They had very much withheld information, downplayed problems, preferring the referring Surgeon to deal with the bad news. I did know it was cancer but wish they had said more when asked. I told the Breast Surgeon this, because when you get the news of what the intended treatment is, its all the more shocking. I kept the info to myself and my husband, because initially I didn't feel I could cope with any questions from others, however well meaning, because I didn't know the answers to give them. Certainly worked for me, as could get on with making the right decisions in peace, in the right frame of mind and with support from certain wonderful ladies who had had similar experiences of cancer.