Breast cancer

And breath..... please - calm down.  Please calm down, I have been here and will reply in a bit - but first I had to post this to say 'honestly, all will be fine' - honest - calm down and 'it's not your fault' - it's one of these things that happen.... I'll be back in a bit...

Hi Summer57, Im 51 and was diagnosed 4 weeks ago. I also am having a lumpectomy this week. I feel the same as you. Ive been keeping busy and pretending its not happening but am terrified.  

I was in such a state like you a little over 3 years ago.  I was so scared, I was 55. I went to the doctors after seeing a 'dent' in my boob - only a week or so before I had seen a post on facebook saying 'it's not always a lump'.  I didn't think it would be - but at the same time I knew - if this makes sense.

Believe me, you should sail though your lumpectomy - says me that hasn't had an operation as such before my lumpectomy..... I am answering honestly, I could not believe that you can have such a operation with virtually no pain after - well, I will say 'no pain' in the operation site!!! The only area that gave me any pain and it wasn't 'pain as such' it was a 'stinging / uncomfortable' feeling was where I had the 'sentinel node biopsy' - this is carried out just towards the top near to your armpit.

Please don't stress and I know you would love your husband there - but, think of it like this..... this is your time to get you better - before the operation you will be asked various questions, and getting you ready - nothing you can't handle ..... ie talking to the nurses, etc. and after the operation, when you come around ...... fingers crossed for 'clear margins' and that's it.... 'it' is out and you have done the main part.  You will probably want to sleep, not necessarily, just I think the relief that it is all over with.  (one thing I kept saying was 'please you can take extra to get clear margins' - I think most must say this.  

Then depending on you and how you feel, you will be allowed to come home.... so your hubby can come and bring you home.  If you have your operation later in the day - there is always the possiblity you could stay in overnight - I suppose it would depend on how you feel too - if you are desperate to go home or if you are more comfortable staying over night..... to be honest I don't think many stay overnight.

Once home, rest and for the first couple of nights I found it easier to sleep on the settee in a semi-laying sitting up position, with legs up on settee - we had managed to buy a 'V' shaped pillow - which was useful.  As I say no pain in lumpectomy site area, just the stinging in the 'sentinel node biopsy' area - this only started after a day or two (I suppose once anaesthetic had started to wear off). The stinging is uncomfortable and just as you get made with it, it seems to subside.

One piece of advice I was given..... however you travel home make sure you have a 'pillow' with you, then you can 'hold this on your boobs' when you are travelling home - this acts as 'cushion' to stop you boobs moving, jiggling, etc when going over any lumps and bumps in the road.

You are advices to buy and take with you a 'front fastening bra' - the reason for this....

during, well after your operation, whilst you are under anaesthetic, they will put your bra on you, so when you come around you have your bra on.  The reason it is 'front fastening/opening' is afterwards, when they come to check on you, you can 'just undo the front' with no struggling etc.  ..... this was we're having my husband with me came in very useful.... when I was going down for my operation, the nurse asked my husband for my bra..... so he gave them my old one....you can guess what I came out of surgery wearing.

Please don't blame yourself, its not your fault, it is just one of thought things.

Consider you are on the 'roller coaster' ride, you are going to have a few up's and down's but come Friday night - all being well you will be 'free of it'.

You will cry, its only natural, and in a way you will be crying, grieving for the person you were before this news - be strong, you will get thought this - you will lean many things along the way, even friends that you thought you had may change, people may be different to you - it's all a learning curve - that you will come thought 'better and stronger' - honest.  

If you have any questions there are so many that come on this site that can help you,  if you have trouble sleeping look out for the 'awake' thread - we are always popping in and out of there - same knowledge in there, but we have a laugh too..... you will soon, honestly.

and this goes for you too Magtie - You will get thought this, you will live again. You are doing right, I pretended it wasn't happening to me, owww and 'mindfulness' app's are good to stop all the 'night time thinking' that's starts - breathing exercises etc to help you get to sleep quickly.  

I choose not to tell many people about my situation - as my closest friend showed her true colours and after that - well I could see no need, people 'only want to know what is going on to be nosey' and then follow it with 'they've probably got it wrong' or 'don't worry, you'll be fine' and as you will see at the moment none of these answers really help..... hence the ladies and gents in this group have 'been there and truly do know how you are feeling' - like when you want to shout out and how your emotions be all over the place, you will flip from calm to having a melt down - we understand - and most of all 'it's natural to feel like this'.

Deep breath girls - you can do this - in a few days this will all be behind you!!!

Sending love and hugs

G xxx

Awwww thanks for that it’s made more sense now I’m trying to be positive but you have given me a boost thanks that helps so much 

Apologies Summer57 for jumping on your post, I was having a panic last night. Thank you Whathappened such a positive post. Good luck for Friday. 

Big hugs to you both

Hello and Magtie, Welcome to the club you never wanted to join,but you have come to the right place.WhatHappened  has explained things so well and I hope that you both feel more reassured now. I have had 2 lumpectomies 22 years apart - one in each breast and unrelated. As has been said the part that will give you the most discomfort will almost certainly be the sentinel node biopsy /removal. It is like a nerve twinge but doesn't last very long - just appears intermittently. I did not need strong painkillers at all -although they were prescribed to be used as needed. I only took Paracetemol. The best part however is that once your operation is done your cancer has GONE. The laboratory tests on the tissue removed will ensure that you have clear margins . After that all the other treatment is belts and braces to prevent recurrence.The advice about using a pillow in the car post op. is very good - I used a teddy bear inside the seat belt to achieve the same protection ,but it may depend where your operation scar is. V pillows are excellent in bed and in your armchair too If you dont have one create your own by crossing over 2 normal pillows at the top. Sending big hugs and hope that your operations go well. XX Kwissy