AWAKE.........

Shellian  - there's one thing worse than a bad back..

Seriously, hope the back gets better very soon toxophilite !

Off to bed in a minute but just wondered where Sal LL is? Hope all is well.

Optimistic how did you get on today?

JoDec sorry to hear your news I know exactly how you must be feeling!

Violetsniff (love it) I was wondering who you were lol.

Nite nite everyone lets hope we get some sleep.

xx

Hahaha Weeblemum, predictive text again! Xx

I'm trying to catch up with all the posts.  Was lovely to see the photograph from the meet up at the weekend.

A good looking bunch of 'reprobates' as Mrsox would say - I best not call you RifRaf haha - only Mrsox can get away with this.

Thinking of you all and sending love and hugs xxxx

Hi wide awake worrying about starting antidepressants.  I should have taken them before bed. I'm worried that I won't be able to come off them. My oncologist agrees I need them he said I should be forgetting about cancer. If only!! Its affected all my relationships, my mental health, physicaly I'm still recovering from diep 8 weeks ago but its my third op Im' really not woe is me kind of girl but oncologist didn't seem to understand why I was still so down. He said I should go for some group couselling take my partner. He said I would hear about lots of people worse than me. He said I was lucky. Is it me? I felt like saying if you had you're bits chopped off 3 operations, 6 months chemo, and tamoxifen oh and the 3 stone weight gain would you feel lucky and forget about it. Hope all you lovely ladies are sleeping. Sending lots of love xx

Shellian  

Oh, FFS, what is WRONG with some of these oncologists - how DARE he say that you should forget about cancer and that there are other people worse off? He is dealing with YOU at your appointment, not anybody else, and your health, both physical and mental, should be his focus. 

You've been through a lot in the past few months, and it is understandable that it is still affecting you. Counselling/talking therapy may be of help to you, but it might also be that short term antidepressants could be part of your recovery. Has he suggested a specific type of medication? 

I can't help you with the possible side effects of antidepressants and problems coming off them (I take nortryptiline but at low dose for nerve pain rather than its antidepressant qualities!) but I'm sure there are other people who are on or have been on medication who can help! However, you need to weigh up how you feel now and the possible long term consequences of that with any difficulties that you might have when coming off them down the line a bit... 

In the meantime, hugs to you! 

Hi shellian I've just come off my antidepressants Mirtqzapine they were only 15 mg one at night .I decided I just didn't want to stay on them after 18 months. I had asked my doctor how to stop them they said they are not addictive maybe take them every other day at first. I googled it in the end and I cut some in half and gradually cut down. I was fine without them no horrid side effects. So I'm sure you'll be ok and if you need them you need them like any other med xxx

I do struggle with sleeping though. I've never been a good sleeper unlike hubby !  And always managed on little sleep. My daughter isn't in school now so I don't get up as early so that doesn't help. But nights are getting ridiculous three o'clock still awake becoming new norm. I also have horrible things I see in the room. This has happened for a while before the antidepressants !!  I try to close my eyes but when i open them there are odd shapes. Sometimes they are right in my face and I jump. Please don't all think I'm mad I don't think I am .Guess it's my mind as like you shellian I've struggled emotionally and my mind still thinks of cancer nearly all day but can I not have a break at night.

I'm sorry your oncologist implied you should be grateful. I'm grateful every day but still sad i went through it all. This time last year I was so depressed and my children saw so much. My 18 year old and 15 year old are very needy. My 18 year son has no friends not in college and inseparable from me. It breaks me if I think of leaving him. Yesterday I went to friends I've hardly seen them all last year as I was too down. I still find it hard seeing how there lives haven't changed. I mentioned my son and how he wouldn't cope without me and my friend just agreed he wouldn't. I could have done with some reassuring !  So I do feel lucky very but not as lucky as she is as I don't have the same peace of mind anymore.

Anyway sorry for long post. Shellian we all understand your doing great xx

Optimistic - hugs to you too! #

OH JoDec I'm sooooo sorry. What crap! Let's hope it turns out to be nothing to worry about. 

Shellian  Your onco is a d*ckhead. You never forget about cancer. If we're really lucky we can push it to the back of our minds and function pretty normally but it's always there ready to bubble up (like around annual checkup time). And as far as I'm concerned, all cancer stories are awful - there's no such thing as better or worse. As for anti-depressants I only know two people who've tried to come off them - one found it nigh impossible and the other found it pretty straightforward. So I suspect it's like any other treatment - it affects us all differently. 

Love to all.

@JoDec oh Jo I’m so sorry.