AWAKE.........

Hi Sal

I am so glad you are seeng the hospice nurse on Friday and hopefully she can get you some pain relief.

You went through all that shit last night and still managed to go to work today.

You are one very brave lady.

Hope you get some rest tonight.

Sue xxxxxx  

Kacang - Hope you get a physio appointment soon. I never had a scan or anything and did ask about mets - was told it was highly unlikely to be there - well done you for not jumping to that first. 

Oh LondonLass - so sorry to hear what you've been going through. It isn't self pity, you have every right to be fed up - I can't imagine how difficult things must be for you and admire your determination and the way you get on with your life and so seldom complain. It's exhausting when life doesn't seem to give you a break, but you'll have high points again and hopefully soon. Hope you get plenty of rest on your days off!

Take care

R

A big HUG from me Londonlass. You lovly lass. 

Ny nite. mr sox and Roland . Xx

Thanks ronstar I saw the GP for results today. It's only in one compartment, which is good apparently. Doc is strongly advising the steroid injection as he reckons that should fix it. I'm thinking about it, mainly as I have an aversion to steroids after the trouble they caused during chemo. 

LondonLass Remember how strong you are. Need to do something about those drugs - something's obviously not doing you any good. Can you remember what you were taking last time this happened? Look after yourself xxx

WELL.......

BUT NO WHERE NEAR AS BAD AS THE NIGHT BEFORE!!!

Morning All, I couldn't resist this picture as I'm sure it'll make you smile! I took a long long long time to go off to sleep last night! Then woke every 30mins! But finally at around 3ish I dropped off and slept till 7! Which for me is pretty good, so not complaining!

I haven't managed to lose that 'blue' feeling! I think that's going to take some time. As I am sure most of you know it's difficult when you wake up and the first thing you are aware of is the aches and pains! 

My friend said to me yesterday that I expect too much that she also gets a 'bit stiff' in the mornings and that at our age we need to accept that as normal! I then asked her what she meant by a bit stiff. She said when she first gets up she has to have a big stretch to get everything motivated and ready for the day! WOW how is she coping so well with that to deal with every morning! Why am I moaning when clearly this is all 'normal' for a 42year old! 

Did you notice the slight sarcasm there? I know it was only subtle so you might not of picked up on it ;-) Oh how I wish I had her joint issues first thing in the morning! Then I wouldn't have to do my 'constipated chicken walk', which I have discovered is REALLY difficult to do when you are desperate for a wee.......then it's more of a......hmmmmmmm let me think........Drunk Duck Waddle! 

I know you are all imagining how that would look, but then realising you all do the same :-) See I haven't loss my attempts at humour!! 

Well I should get up now while I can still do the chicken walk! May I wish you all a lovely day! Those of you working, try not to overdo it! Those having treatment take it easy and drink plenty of water, those like me just lazing around, enjoy!! 

Thanks again for the lovely words of support. You really have helped me more than you will ever know! Together we will get through the bad days, because you know what......doing it on your own is too hard! This really is the place to be! Love to you all xxxx

Morning sal so glad you managed some sleep. You're friend sounds a bit like someone i know. She asked how i was one day i said i was really sad as my friend was in hospital and i wasnt well. I did ask how she was and she replied ive had a bad leg and a cold but at least ive been going to work. She may as well have just called me lazy. She is now an ex friend. Constipated chicken walk is me at the moment. That and drunk duck waddle did made me smile though.  Love that pic. You are a star sal hope you have a better day. Xx

Afternoon all...........

I couldn't find a picture that said TeeHee you are a bl**dy idiot! :-( 

I got up walked the dog and felt pretty good, not heady like I have for the last few months or tired/drowsy. The only thing was my sternum was throbbing a bit more than usual. But I carried on with my day, reached 1 o'clock and was sat eating lunch, really struggling with pain at this point, but otherwise feeling better than I have in months! Went to get my Paracetomol and naproxen tablets and that's when I realised.......I hadn't taken my pills this morning! How the hell I forgot 12 tablets I will never know! But I did and although I know I couldn't of gone on any longer without the pain meds, it did make me realise how awful these tablets make me feel :-( but also how much I need the pain meds :-( 

Feeling drowsy, light headed and sick this afternoon!! So back to my new normality! Lucky me!! Really hoping my hospice nurse can say something to help lift my mood! I'm fed up of feeling like this! I'm bored of listening to my own moans, especially when I know there are people who are so much more worse off! Fed up of this now, really need to find my positive outlook again......easier said than done!! 

Hoping everyone else had a better day! Xxx

Hey Sal

Drunken duck. Yep. You do make me laugh!!

Curiosity question for you. How many of those 12 pills are for pain? And if not all of them, what are the rest? I was just wondering, as it sounds like you were feeling good apart from the pain.... 

Me and my horribly logical brain would be making a spreadsheet of pain etc, side effects of pills, and timings........ 

But that's me. I'm usually logical and not terribly emotional.

Until now. I either blow up or cry. I hate it.

My day was cr*p, until my last call. A lovely lady who just got good news after lymphoma. She looked at my hair and said I've given her hope for hers!!

Tomorrow's Friday. First call a lady who had a break in and was hurt. She's a sweetheart, and didn't deserve that. 2nd call a BC survivor whose hubby left her for a younger model during treatment. Another sweetheart who didn't deserve it.  So I really need a bit of sleep before having to cope with that!!

xx

Hi Karen, sadly none of them are tablets I can drop! 

Blood Pressure tablets

heartburn meds

Vitamin D

and the rest are pain meds! 

After spending the rest of the day in tears with the constant nagging pain and feeling sick, I realised how much I need these drugs :-( I suppose after feeling okay I thought maybe just maybe I could stop taking the drugs! I could go back to being normal me, drug free me! RIDICULOUS I know, it had only been a few hours!!

BUT it isn't that easy and my hospice nurse is going to need a big box of tissues tomorrow, because I don't think I can hold back the tears in front of her anymore!

Good Luck with your day Karen, sounds like you are going to have an emotional day too ((((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))) xxx

SORRY DIDN'T HAVE THE ENERGY TO FIND A FUNNY PIC :-( WILL TRY AND START THE DAY WITH ONE TOMORROW................

WATCH THIS SPACE...................... XXXXXXX

Will be thinking of you tomorrow Sal. DON'T hold back. She needs to know the worst if she's to help you.

Hope everyone gets some rest tonight!!

No pictures from me either, the menu bars have frozen on my tablet.....

Hugs all

Xx