AWAKE.........

Such gentle dogs @SnowysMum..I just wish wish wish I could have one in my tiny flat but we are not allowed!! Wish I could sneak him in and hide hin!! Xxihe would be such a lovely old companionxx

How lovely Ruby Rose, enjoy! Xxx

Well done Twinkle51 ! Xxx

Twinkle51 so very proud of you and very pleased to hear that you first day went so well. That's fantastic. LP said he had great fun watching you! 

I hope things continue to go well for you my friend. You deserve this so much and I am so pleased for you. Love you Hun. Sal xxxx

Violetsniff, how about a nice new side table for your flat?.......

Looks nice and doesn't look like it would take up too much room!! 

Hope it gave you a little smile! Love you Hun xxx

 LondonLass xxx

Oh LondonLass!!!sorry...just got it....I LOVE HIM!!!xxx

Hi , feeling very odd today . Had 18 th and final paclitaxol........now feel cut adrift . Weekly visits to the unit have been part of my life since June . The day I was told I had secondaries and had to start chemo “ very soon “ I felt absolutely well . That was why it was such a shock . Now I have numb feet , and my right arm feels odd When I take the lymphodema sleeve off I can still feel it ! My sight is deteriorating noticeably. My balance is dodgy . Taste buds .....yuk

i have tried to get through this without ( too much ) whinging , but now it is “ over “ it does not feel the same as when I walked out after my primary treatment , feeling “ realistically  optomistic “

 CT scan booked and am seeing oncologist in February. My mind goes round in circles thinking how long this is for the mets to grow. “ without treatment “  then I will start tamoxifen , letrazole has stopped working and he says all other A I s are too bad for my osteoporosis. I am aware that tamoxifen is not quite so good for post menopausal women and I have asked if I can have treatment to” strengthen “ my bones and have a stronger AI , but he says “ we don’t do that unless you have lots of bone mets “ 

my friends all think ( again ) that this is over and I didn’t die , so it can’t have been as bad a diagnosis as it seemed .....but I must say they have been very good . I just know that you might understand, and the steroids are making me twitchy , so I thought I would post .....

hope gou are all feeling ok ( ish ) ....and sal ......hope things are looking up for you .  I wish there was a magic solution .

best wishes to all .....grumpy x

Hi

You haven't  moaned at all and have been so strong throughout it all, keeping active, keeping focused, awesome lady.

The numb feet and the odd feeling in the arm  and dodgy balance is, as you already know nerve damage, the brain trying to make sense of odd messages.

As for Feb being so long for the mets to grow, there is no way the paclitaxol will be anywhere near out of your system for 12-18 months, but this is easy for me to say, I'm just trying to say sensible things you already know.

About the Al's which are not Letrozole if you are prepared to take them with the risks to your bones, i think its mean not to let you have them. 

you're not Grumpy at all, you're a top bird xx

, of course we understand! You are in limbo, not knowing if it has worked, and dealing with all the awful after effects, which are so debilitating and depressing, not to mention major anxiety provoking. And no one also understands the battle to keep going day after day, trying to be 'normal', and grieving for the life you used to have.

Yiu have done so well, please keep,posting xxx