AWAKE.........

Well, Paul and I woke up at 1.30am this morning and haven't been back to sleep since! Went out with my walking friend for an hours walk in the forest, shopping with Paul, bit of housework......and still wide awake! Hope that means  I'll sleep the whole night tonight. 

Sweet dreams everyone! X

Hi all, I had a rubbish night too, followed by a horrid start to the day but I will spare you the details! (Toilet issues)

Karen appointment with BCN went well, although she does have her moments it's just whether she does what she has said! We shall see. She did finally confirm, 2months after I asked the question that the size of my cancer was the size they had told me in cm's! I had wanted to make sure that they didn't mean mm's! Sadly no!

Then I thought I would pick up my last few Christmas presents, BIG MISTAKE ........

My feet were so painful I actually sat at the bus stop crying! It was awful! Bloomin PN it's driving me nuts! Surely I have enough to deal without this rubbish :-( 

Hoping tomorrow is a better day! Any worse and I won't be able to walk anywhere :-( Apologies for moaning again! xxxxxx

Quit apologising!! I won't smack your ass for moaning - that is most definitely allowed - but I will smack it for apologising!!

xx

Ill 2nd that toxophilite.

 Im workin in a clinic tmorra we the dregs of society. Bloody dreadin it . 

Ill try to 

Keep smilng.xx

Haha! Couldn't resist this one!!!!

Hello lovely ladies,

Have I found a house no! Am I on my knees ...yes. Pre-op good to go. 2-4 weeks recovery... don't know about that. I will just keep on going,, and on and on...

Not being funny but C, I really don't have time for you in my life so P... Off!

Gay xxx

Good for you Gay. I think sometimes keeping going may be the answer but please look after yourself too xx

Beautifully Put Gay! Keep going Hun xxx

I'm sorry you still a lot of pain I do try to keep up with all the talk but time just disappears now been God today I only have few mothers I wondered if any one had small children that had palliative care team in to talk to as yet my girls 23 months 5 and 8 don't know I I'm owing to die sooner rather than later now going to try last attempt with kadcyla but the spread is quick now in bones liver lungs and chest wall if any one has any tips for kids also husband obviously I get the easy deal he has to stay behind and cope with telling the girls my prayers to everyone god I wis,h one day this disease will be gone good nite all love to u all xxx

Hi jazzy21, firstly may I say I think you are doing amazingly well in what is an awful situation. I have my fingers firmly crossed that Kadcyla, gives you many more months with your young family!

Now I am know expert but have worked with children for many years and I think it's important that you speak to them at their level. So what you might say to your 8 year old will be completely different to your 5 year old. I also think it's important to not deal with the whole dying issue too soon. As I am sure you would like to enjoy special times with your girls while you are able. Without them worrying constantly about when mummy might die! 

Children live in the here and now, they live for today! If you tell them, for example you have months left! What does that mean to them? Well nothing really, they are left anticipating when this day might arrive! Will it be before they get back from school, will it be when they are asleep, etc etc! 

In my opinion and it is just my opinion. I would want them to be as happy and carefree as long as they possibly can be. Now having said that IF they ask you a straight question about whether you are going to die, DON'T EVER LIE! Because the honest answer is Yes, because we are all going to die one day. This answer might be enough for them at this moment, or they may probe further, either way only give them as much information as they need or want!

I know we constantly hear how we need to be completely honest with our children and give them as much information as we can, but why? What do you gain from telling them that at some point you are going to die? You don't know when that might be? As time goes on and IF god forbid the new drugs don't work for you, then you can start talking to them about the fact you have run out of medicines and that mummy wants to make special memories for them. But until that time arrives, I personally would want to keep them feeling safe, supported and loved and without a care in the world. Just as children should be!

I think it would be a great idea to speak to macmillan and see what they can suggest. Or a charity that specialises in children losing a parent. I don't think there is a right or wrong way of dealing with this Hun! You need to find a way that feels right for you, your husband and of course your children.

I hope you are able to make the next few months special for all of you and I Wish you all the Biggest and most Special Christmas ever! Sending you the biggest and most supportive ((((((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))))) EVER! xxxxxxxxx