AWAKE.........

Goodnight all......

Thanks to the mammogram results( no 4) I am going to have a good night's sleep. I knew really they were ok because I had no proper signs of anything untoward so why is it we allow ourselves to worry so much? Why don't we trust the work these awful drugs have actually done. Yes, there have been dreadful days and even at this late stage there can be problems.....but for me the cancer is still staying away. I know not everyone here is as lucky....and I'm sorry.....but I also know lots of you who I have got to know in the last few months as you began your treatment and who are nearly finished......and many of you just starting....will find yourself in my shoes in 2023 because today the odds are in our favour.

I have so enjoyed your photos, family chats and gif's. It has been a help to me during several difficult months as I have had to come to terms with the permanent effect peripheral neuropathy has had on my hands and feet. I begin some intensive residential  rehabilitation  in early January which it is hoped will help relieve the compression from my spine on the sciatic nerve. If it works, the pain in my leg may lessen......if not......?

I am pleased because of the hour difference and being an early riser,I have been there in the night to chat to those of you who haven't slept well. I am glad some of the tips from my clinic have been useful to others....evo nail, mouthwash, radiotherapy creaming, chemo prep kits, ......but I am more thrilled to see the ' class of summer 2019' coming to the end and passing on the info and supporting those who have unfortunately just had to join in with a confidence they couldn't  have imagined five or six months ago.

So now , after much discussion with OH, I am going to disappear for a while. I shall miss your friendship and if anyone wants to stay in touch you are welcome to PM me and I will give you my e mail. It hasn't been an easy decision but I feel it is now time to attempt to move properly forward. I tried not to get involved in chemo discussions etc but it proved impossible.  I can't offer a cure to sickness but I can empathise.......I can warn what not to do with regard peripheral neuropathy but I'm not a good example to follow.....but each time I do post, I'm taking a step backwards and remembering the bad things.....some dreadful days/ weeks.

Now, I have to spend my time planning for better days. I must not waste the precious time OH and I have together. Once the rehab is completed ....we hope to travel. I want to reorganise the garden. There are clubs I need to rejoin and participate in. I have let a cancer which hasn't  been there since Nov 2015 control my life for too long. 

I will look in from time to time to check up on you. Occasionally I may post a photo and maybe later on.....I'll pop back to share the info I was given if I think it might be helpful but not for a while..

I wish you all well with whatever stage of treatment you find yourself. Keep fighting.......future generations depend on you.

Thank you all once again for the support.

Goodnight, over and out!

Lacomtekp

Will miss you Karen and your wise words but your right it's time for you to move on and enjoy

your free time . Do send an occasional postcard .

Margaret xx

Dear Lacomtekp, 

I too will be sorry to see you leave but wanted to wish you the very best of good wishes in getting to your new normal and beginning to celebrate new stuff with your OH. 
lots of love and a big moomy hug xxx

Night night all fruity loops,

sprinkling sleepy fairy dust for all who wishes some.....

hugs xxx

Night everyone wishing you all a peaceful night 

margaret xx

Lots of love and happiness to you Lacomtekp xxxxxxx

That was a very long day. The journey into London was horrendous, but what a delight it was to find LP waiting for me. Well, I say waiting... he was playing in the hospital's revolving doors. I think the running tired him out, as he fell asleep while I had my tests. He perked up later, and enjoyed the treats I bought him, though he did say they couldn't compete with the French pastries he'd eaten earlier. Thanjs for sending him, Sal.

My appointment was much as I anticipated. I'm off the Pembrolizumab trial because I had 2 episodes of Pembro-induced colitis, but I can't shake this second bout. And I can't move on to any new treatment until I recover. So, more steroids, more pills to treat the effects of the high-dose steroids for so long, and a referral to a gastroenterologist. And a season pass to the Marsden in Chelsea for monitoring! I'm beginning to think I live there.

Delighted at the news of your results, Lacomtekp , but sorry you are leaving the site. I understand , though, and I wish you well. I found your comment about being controlled by a long-gone cancer particularly insightful. Such an easy trap to fall into, given the way the disease and treatment dominate our lives after diagnosis.

Now you are ready to move on. I love your optimism, your positive plans for the future. I hope it is a long and happy one. 

Goodbye, and good luck.

Lacomtekp oh bugger off then into the sunset!  . 

I stepped  away from a forum a long time ago.  I was an early member of MSE forum   I joined in 2004, My first experience of cyber friends. 
I stopped the daily posting after about 5 years as site became hugely popular and there were trolls and nasty posters and you round get really nasty private messages.  A lot of us left to go to Facebook but that group became even bitchier and there was an expectation you took sides.  I left those groups too and just have a handful of friends from those forum days as facebooks friends and one I still meet up with in real life!  
Forums can be hugely supportive but can also take a lot out of you.  
I’m 4 years down the line too but like to pop in her regularly.  I was more a reader for a long time and I probably bore the pants of many on here!  
So very best wishes for a happy , healthy future.  Look after yourself xx

Well Here We Go Again.......

Can’t sleep due to Acid Reflux and Night Sweats! Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhh! 

Hope EVERYONE else is snoozing away! Xxxxxxx