So scared

Hi RosieLeighf76955 and a warm welcome to the board. The waiting for results and meeting is very stressful but once you have a treatment plan in place then things will honestly feel a bit better - bowel cancer is notoriously slow growing but very treatable.

Your paperwork sounds very similar to mine - I had a 40mm bleeding tumour in my rectum - size does not matter and the scan results will help your team decide on the best course of treatment for you. 

I’ve attached a link to a booklet that I was given at my first meeting which may give you a heads up about potential treatment, questions to ask etc.

https://bcuk.adidocdn.dev/Publications/Bowel_Cancer_UK_Your_Pathway_V10.1.pdf

Please stay away from google - it can be scary and out of date - there’s lots of information on here and the bowel cancer uk board. 
We’re all at different stages of treatment and recovery on here - I was diagnosed in 2016 and I’m still ‘no evidence of disease ‘ so please keep posting and we’ll help and support you through this?

Take care

Karen x

Karen's reply covered all the important stuff already. 

We've all been there, the period between discovery of the tumor and getting a treatment plan is the most stressful time. It really gets very overwhelming at times. Do your best to keep your mind on other things. Don't forget to breath. Once you have a treatment plan the stress get much more manageable. 

Also keep in mind that colorectal cancer is typically very slow growing. A few weeks delay on the MDT won't impact your outcome. That was my biggest worry when I was in that period. 

Thanks so much for replying Karen. And thank you for the leaflet information too. That's so helpful.

I have two maIn worries. One is the speed of growth of this tumour. I'm told that these are slow growing but mine wasn't there at all last year and is now 44mm. I'm not sure if that is slow growing or not but it feels like that is quite fast.

The other is telling my kids. I have 3 girls, two grown up, one with a toddler...and my youngest who has just turned 18 and is going to Uni in 3 weeks. If the diagnosis isnt good and I have to go through treatment, is that something I can get through without telling them? I know my appearance might change, so I would have to tell them something but I'm just so frightened to do that and upset their lives.

Thank you for replying Susan. Yes, the waiting is excruciating. Trying to stay positive, especially as the kids don't know anything. So I have to act normally, which is tough at times. 

Hi RosieLeighf76955 I think the fact that nothing was detected in your first colonoscopy is a good sign. The staging of a tumour is based on how far it has grown into the bowel wall or through it and to other areas? Yours may be flattish but long and not grown too far into the wall whereas mine was stage 3 and had grown into the outer layer of the bowel wall but not through it. 

I personally would wait until you’ve seen the consultant before telling your family?  Mine told me that they were treating me with a ‘view to cure’ which I was able to reassure people about. Your treatment may involve chemo radiotherapy first or straight to surgery depending on the position of the tumour but once you’ve had your meeting then you’ll have a better idea of the next stage. I’m sure you’ll be grateful for their support and if you didn’t tell them and they noticed that something was worrying you then their own imagination could be more worrying than the truth?

Try not to worry about the what ifs but focus on the fact that the tumours been picked up and you will be getting treatment for it? I know it’s easy to say but I’ve seen a lot of people go through this and come out the other side and get on with their lives

Take care

Karen x