My world turned upside down

I am so sorry to hear what you have gone through and are going through now. But you are strong to have been the backbone of your family during the years after your husband’s death and you will somehow find the strength again, whether the operation is short or long, remember that it is there to help remove your cancerous re Tim, and hopefully with follow up treatment, you, like all of us cancer patients, will have a few more years to live life to its fullest. Hang in there and I am sending you all the positive energies that I can. 

Hi jessamie1 and a warm welcome to the board. I’m so sorry to hear about your husband and now this - life just does not seem fair sometimes. 
It sounds like you’ll be having an APR - abdominal perineal resection - which is when the tumour is low in the rectum meaning that there is not enough bowel to rejoin resulting in a permanent colostomy. Yes it’s a big op and can be a slow recovery but it is doable and you will quickly learn to deal with your stoma and carry on with life. My friend has one and she works full time, goes on cruises and has just come back from Australia. 

Theres lots of support on here and loads of advice on the colostomy board so please keep posting and we’ll help and support you through this

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/ileostomy-and-colostomy-discussions-forum

Take care

Karen x

Thankyou so much for replying to me, actually writing it down made it a whole lot more real

Thankyou

Hi,

I’m sorry you are going through this. I lost my daughter the year before my diagnosis and I know that feeling of  hitting you again and again with a big stick. 

You aren’t alone, this board will be helpful and everyone is supportive here. 

I didn’t have a stoma fitted but I was prepared for one.  My gran had one after her bowel cancer and it never affected her life at all, so I wasn’t too bothered by the thought.  

The op is big, but you won’t know about it. I had an 8 day stay (open surgery).  It takes a while to recover, but I’m back at the gym etc as normal now. 

take each step as it comes. We’re here for you

Cerysm

Thanks for that. Apparently mine is key hole through the tummy but carnage through the back end, to be honest I had gone numb when the consultant was telling me all about it. I went into complete meltdown. Now I have to wait nearly three weeks before operation and seriously don’t know how I’m going to cope . It’s just awful but I know there is a lot more people going through worse. 

Hi jessamie1 

My husband was diagnosed in October and told that he will probably need a full removal of rectum & have a bag fitted. But before that hes had 25 sessions of Radiotherapy & Chemo tablets, and is currently on cycle 1 of 4 IV chemo along with chemo tablets. All this is to make the tumour shrink so they can remove with enough margin to completely get rid of it. Of all the treatments the bag is the one thing he has his head around. 

All the treatment is to keep you going - take one day at a time and use the forum. There are so many people going through similar (or have gone through). We have found it really helpful. Good luck with your treatment. You will get through this.

B x 

Hi jessami1

I'm 8 weeks post APR surgery following a recurrence of rectal cancer.  Mine was  keyhole (robotically) through the tummy and 'carnage through the back end' as you accurately put it (that made me laugh!).  I really do understand your worry and anxiety about the surgery, I was exactly the same, absolutely beside myself with fear. However, I just wanted to let you know that it is doable, you will just need to accept that recovery from this surgery is more of a marathon than a sprint.  

You have every right to be devastated. Don't compare yourself to others. This is a big shock and alot to take in.

My surgery resulted in 2 permanent stomas (I lost my bladder as well as my rectum, my story is in my profile). The stomas are a bit overwhelming at first, there's a steep learning curve. But before you know it, you'll be comfortable with the stoma and the bag. It will not limit your lifestyle.  

The waiting is the hardest part. 

Dear Jessamie1, I am so sorry to read all that you’ve gone through. After losing your husband and then being diagnosed too must be so very scary. I am not sure what I can say in words of encouragement because my history to now has been of a state of limbo, however, once I got the recent diagnosis I felt I could move forward and was able to sleep better. It’s definitely good to share worries and opinions on here. I never in a million years thought I would be writing on a forum but the comradeship on here has been so heartening and wonderful. I’ll be starting Chemo and radiotherapy on Tuesday 1st April to last throughout the summer with perhaps an op later on in the year. Thinking of you. take care x