Scared

I’m so sorry you are going through this the tests and the waiting are really hard . When I am on my own I try to distract myself with online jigsaws or simple not too brain tasking games other than that I try to read

these are all things you have tried I expect .  is there someone to have a chat with ? I hope that things will become clearer soon x 

Hey there. 

I feel for you.  The waiting is just torture.  In my experience what you feel now is normal.  I had my sigmoid colon removed in December and I’m cancer free now.  

The professionals will be working hard in the background to get the full picture of what’s going on and they will come up with a plan of action.  You’ll never meet some of them but they have your back and will want to get this sorted as quickly as possible for you.  

This forum is amazing and you’ll get support from people who are at the same stage or further along.  Plus those who’ve come out the other side.   

keep posting and go easy on yourself.  ️

I totally feel you, I live alone too. I'm waiting for CT scan, happening on Thursday, and then will hopefully know more. The last few days have been awful, lots of tears and panicking, but I just let them flow, it's my brain processing everything but it is hard. As awful as things are right now it will pass and you'll feel better once you know what you're dealing with, plus there's lots of support to help you. Take care xx

Hi Worrier75, I'm having a CT scan on Monday. I will keep my fingers crossed for you on Thursday. I think you are right about the tears and I do feel my brain is processing it all - I'm even having fleeting moments of clarity! I enjoy living alone except for times like this when I could do with a hug!

Thank you Hilo13, I do online puzzles and I am binge watching various shows. I don't really have many people to talk to and its such a 'heavy' thing to lay on people who care about you.

Hello Scoutabout, you are right about the waiting, it is torture. They are dealing with all the tests quickly which is simultaneously reassuring but terrifying at the same time. The MDT meeting is on Wednesday - I think - its hard to take it all in at the time! It does help to know that you are cancer free and that is great for you.

Sorry about the replies being out of sync, I'm just getting used to the site (bumbles off, looking for her one brain cell!).

Same, I could definitely do with some hugs so am sending you a massive virtual one! X

I got my call the day after the MDT meeting and they had booked me a meeting with a surgeon. I think I went to see him the following week.  He already had a date booked in for my operation.  They really don’t hang around.  

I had my tests in October was diagnosed in November operation in December.  Told I am cancer free in Jan and back to work.  I’m incredibly lucky that I didn’t need further treatment but again there is so much support here.  

You’ll see on here many people have different journeys some complex ones.  I found knowing that others had been though similar and were well was what i fixated onto.  I’ve never been so positive in my life but this brush with cancer has changed my outlook and makes me grateful for everything ️

Hi Barbienemesis,

I am also in your situation and know how worrying it is. I discovered this forum right after the colonoscopy, where they found a suspicious area. I remember feeling numb and exhausted mentally. I have been so grateful for the support shown here. It has been a lifeline for me during this waiting period. So reach out. Everyone knows how difficult it is.

A CAT scan followed and the wait for the results seemed interminable. Yesterday they came in and the MDT team reviewed them today. I got a phone call this afternoon for an appointment with the consultant on Monday. Every scenario goes through your mind. The uncertainty has been with me since that first visit for the colonoscopy. I hope that I can cope on Monday with whatever the news is. 

However, lots of people have told me that this time  can often be worse than the diagnosis. You don't know anything yet. Hold on and try to stay positive. Do you have someone who could accompany you for the scan? 

I am sending you love and support. Take care.  I will be thinking of you on Monday. X