Just been referred on the 2ww pathway

Hi Arial88 how are you doing today? Hope you're managing to cope with Sunday getting closer.

I had a call this morning, I have my CT scan tomorrow at 5pm which I'm glad about as its another step towards getting some answers but I'm also very nervous and feeling totally unprepared and feel panic at the thought of receiving bad news. 

Christmas just feels like it has to be done, and like you I'm just going through the motions and trying to get everything prepared on autopilot. 

Just wanted to check in with you and see how you are today and to say that I'm here to listen anytime.

Fingers crossed for us both this weekend with our respective appointments and sending you a hug xx

Hi Moosmum great the scan is so soon. I feel anxious and glad things are moving at the same time.  Kept busy today but just feel so distracted and sad at times. Ticked more Christmas jobs off the list. Bumping into people v strange, all the Christmas greetings  when all this is bubbling away! Good luck tomorrow,  things are moving on xxx

Hi Arial88 I understand you totally, I feel the same way, anxious to get answers but also sort of not wanting to know or deal with it at the same time.

I'm glad you're managing to keep busy, I think that's the key isn't it as the more you have time to just sit and think the worse the anxiety gets. 

It's difficult when everyone you speak to is just so full of excitement for Christmas and you just feel like you're pretending for the sake of your loved ones.

Good luck for Sunday too, I will check in after my scan tomorrow.

Thinking of you xx

Hi Moosmum , hope you are doing ok and getting through the days, been thinking of you xx

Hi Moosmum & welcome to the forum.

If you get a chance to read my separate thread, please do so - as there are a few contacts going through a similar experience but at a later stage in their journeys.

I’m 51 & was at your stage in early October - positive FIT. I asked my GP to expedite my colonoscopy to the USC 2 week wait (because after receiving the positive FIT, I told my GP that I was feeling tired and noticed looser stools which I thought were due to menopause/IBS - but obviously, there was another reason).

Within a week, I had a colonoscopy with biopsy where I was told by the endocopist that I had a 50 mm mass in my ascending colon. That was it.

I was referred to the Colorectal team, and around 10 days later, I saw my Surgeon. Between that time, I had a CT chest-abdo-pelvis contrast, loads of blood tests & iv iron infusion (as my ferritin was 5).

The worst part was the wait for all the biopsy and test results. That was the worst “space” - the unknown, the uncertainty of how big this problem is, lack of staging, no management plan, feeling completely lost to the mercy of various NHS pathways & referral systems…

The early days are the worst days - hands down.

The better part was my first hospital appointment with the Consultant where I was told what the problem was and the management plan would be. This provided a sense of clarity & I felt a bit more in control of what was happening.

I’m now 11 days post op - laparoscopic open right hemicolectomy and lymph node clearance. I’m at home & recovering.  I will be informed in the next few months whether I need any additional treatment ie.Chemo.

In 2 months, I’ve learnt that all cancer journeys are different - so best not to compare yourself to others. Don’t google - it’s dangerous, with too much misinformation, as there are so many variables out there. 

Initially, I got scared reading everyone’s stories, but I’ve realised that my story is as different & as individual as me. I’ve learnt from the stories of others, how best to cope, how best to care for myself, etc.

I wish you the best of luck & I’m happy to provide support as you need!! x 

Hi Arial88 sorry for the late reply, I've been away for a few days staying with my sister and only got back home this afternoon..

How are you doing? Hoping you managed to get through Christmas ok? I've been thinking about you and hoping you're managing as best as you can under the circumstances.

I've got my colonoscopy appointment through for Thursday, my pain has been worse over Christmas and I had a bit of a meltdown when I got to my sisters on boxing day. It's so difficult not to think worst case scenario isn't it. 

Hope to hear back from you soon and sending you a hug xx

Hi SoniBee thank you so much for sharing your experience, I really appreciate it. Sorry for the late reply, I've been away for Christmas and only got home today.

My GP has said many things can cause a positive FIT result but I think I've just convinced myself that I have it. I've stopped googling because as you say it really doesn't help and you only seem to read the negative outcomes. 

I too have IBS and also thought my symptoms were either that or menopause so I left it for 6 months (in hindsight I know this was stupid) now I'm worrying that doing this will lead to a worse outcome should the colonoscopy show I have cancer. 

You are so right about the waiting, it's unbearable isn't it and you struggle not to let your thoughts go to a dark place. 

I'm so glad to hear that you've come through the surgery and you're back home recovering, I hope you are back on your feet as soon as possible and that in 2 months time you get the all clear. I will definitely take a look at your other thread, hearing from others and that they've come through the other side makes me less afraid of what might be to come.

I have my colonoscopy on Thursday, feeling very scared but also like I want to know what I'm dealing with ASAP now. 

Thank you so much for the offer of support, I definitely will take you up on that and keep posting here. The same offer applies to you, if you need a chat or a listening ear then just shout. 

Sending you lots of get well wishes and the very best of luck that you've beaten this xx

It is easy to tell anyone to look for the positive in any situation but I can only say to you wait until you have had the colonoscopy and deal with exactly what it tells you. I received a diagnosis of bowel cancer about 18months ago and that was following a test by the GP and I am now having chemo to control the cancer. I feel fortunate that there was a treatment available to control the cancer and make my life easier for a while longer. Try not to worry too much as that will affect your health and your everyday life. Try to carry on your life as well as you can and react to actual information that the professionals give you. The best of luck to you now and for the future and hope your results give you what you want to hear .Peter. 

Hi Firey Pete thank you for replying, I'm sorry to hear that you've had to go through this too and I really hope that the chemo is successful for you. You are right, worrying about the 'what ifs' only makes me more anxious so I've been trying to get on with it as best as I can and I'm trying to block it out as much as possible until I get the colonoscopy done on Thursday.

If you don't mind, could I ask you what your symptoms were and what made your GP refer you? I have had pain in my lower left side and sometimes in my back as well, I had a positive fit result and my bloods came back that I am anemic so I've been told all of this combined is a red flag for bowel cancer.

Thank you again and I wish you all the best with your treatment and for the future. 

Pleased to help any way I can. I had a stomach ache and a discharge was evident in my underwear so I contacted the GP who asked me for a sample which was fast tracked and within 24hrs I was told that the sample had blood and I needed a colonoscopy. This was done and a polllp was found which was partially blocking the entrance to the colon from the small intestine. It was too big to be removed as part of the colonoscopy so two weeks later I had a 5 hour keyhole operation which removed the lower half of my colon and the attached appendix and a part of my small intestine. When the lab did the histology they found a small tumour in what was removed and I was in the cancer clinic a month later starting a chemo process which has now lasted almost 18 months and I have a terminal diagnosis but no timescale. So I have had 30 chemo sessions and have a CT Scsn after each six sessions and I live for everyday and not too much in the future. I hope this helps and just ask any questions you want as I will be honest with you I do not believe in making things sound good so I tell the truth about what I feel etc, chat again soon and let me know how your colonoscopy goes. If you haven’t had one before use the gas and air if they offer it, I had one two weeks ago and it was fine.