Hello, reeling a bit!

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Hi all, well I had my colonoscopy today and it isn't looking good. Pretty sure there's a malignancy in the mid ascending colon. Biopsies willl be done, CT scan to be arranged. Am numb really, particularly as I feel ok - aside from being anaemic, which is what flagged this up - plus a really high FIT test. Trying very hard not to panic, but being rather anxious anyway it's a challenge. Though I know this isn't easy for any of us. Been trying to avoid Google as been down many a rabbit hole, so will stick to supportive communities like this!

  • Sorry to hear this. It's strange how you can feel perfectly ok but have these nasties brewing away inside you - I was in the same position (no symptoms, just a positive result from a routine screening FIT) . Hopefully that means that it's been detected pretty early and so will be easier to fix. 

    Fingers crossed that things move quickly for you - as is often said on this board, the waiting and not knowing is arguably the worst part. Once you and the medics have a clearer picture of exactly what the problem is and how to best go about addressing it it's easier to cope with. 

    Stick to this website or the bowelcancer one for reliable info rather than plain old Dr Google....

  • I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Waiting is excruciating!

    Bowel cancers are notorious for being sneaky. They often grow without symptoms or obvious problems. It's very difficult to believe you are sick when you don't feel sick. 

  • Yup, that’s my story here too. No symptoms other than occasional bouts of fatigue, but my work colleagues noticed I was loosing weight so I rang my GP surgery for a chat. That was September, I’m now four weeks post surgery and recovering well with a temporary stoma, I’ve certainly got my energy back, but I’m still taking things rather easy whilst I continue to heal internally. What I’m not looking forwards to though is starting CAPOX on the 23rd of December, but I go along with their clinical decisions and fingers crossed we’ll make some headway with it. 

  • Thanks all, really good to hear from you. Am not doing great today, anxiety bad, mind racing.  Stopped reading up on the details of report, trying to work out if 'friable' is bad or not, way to madness getting hung up on every detail. Am hoping once CT is done and I have some idea of treatment then it may feel more manageable.  Feels v scary and bleak at the moment xx

  • You might try finding a task to distract you. Put the reports away, and stop reading stuff about cancer. Give your conscious mind something else to do. 

  • Thanks for your reply. It's so nice to not feel alone. All the best for the next stage of your treatment. 

  • Thanks, sound advice,  something I definitely need to work on! 

  • Saying 'try not to think about it' is easier said than done. I don't know if 'friable' is good, bad or neither but if it helps my tumour was also described that way in my colonoscopy report  (I had to look the word up in the dictionary and it means 'crumbly') and it was quickly dealt with via surgery so it can't be that bad 

  • Thank you, I am just going into overdrive, I know I am, thinking of all the worst possible outcomes, that it has spread etc. All counter productive and adding massively to my stress, which is what I need to avoid! Hope you are doing ok?

  • Hi, having been through breast cancer and now just been told I have rectal cancer (routine colonoscopy - biopsy, ct scan and mri, no idea of plan….yet) anxiety and the waiting is hard. Top tip, pick up a book you know well - for me it was Harry Potter and also a story I loved as a kid Fly by Night - you can re-read without thinking too much but also be carried away in the story….

    GGx