So I got diagnosed with Stage 4 bowel cancer (spread to the peritoneal and ovaries), and given I was super fit at the time and just went to the docs with what I thought was a touch of IBS, it came as a rather unexpected shock (starting with an impassable stricture in the bowel which thankfully they were able to manage a stoma for, then on ti immunotherapy and palliative chemo). Having got my head around what is going on, I just thought I would share my morning Facebook post in case it helps brings a smile to anyone else - cos a chuckle goes a long way to tackling a beast like this 
*** I did post this with a pic of my empty 5FU bottle - on the gold ol’ oxy too ***
With the intravenous infusion pretty much finished that is dose number two done 
What have I learnt learnt so far:
1) A big dose of steroids defo means you won’t sleep well the first night. Have a good book to hand (currently on the last book of Vampire Academy 
)
2) Midnight snacks are now a permanent feature - I have moved away from tea and biccies to the more healthy alternative of a banana and warm water (and a cheeky dairy-lea dunker if I remember to take it out the fridge before bed) 
3) it takes a bit of getting used to in terms of hyper sensitivity to cold (this is an accumulative side effect, so thankfully a bit of time to get into the habit of not touching cold stuff like door handles and taps without gloves, covering your face to open outside doors/fridge/freezer and eating/drinking things at room temperature or warmer) 
4) the bloated tummy is both very painful and I now have the utmost sympathy for pregnant women as it feels like it shrinks your bladder to the size of a bloody pea and as for putting on shoes/socks and picking up dog poo, to do this in any sort of elegant way is utterly impossible
5) And lastly, diarrhoea from chemo and constipation from pain killers and anti-sickness meds balance out perfectly (the good old stoma is grateful for this one)
