Scared of unknown

Lyndene 1 month ago

4 replies
179 subscribers
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Hi there, I wonder if anyone can help reassure me.

My 90 year old dad was recently diagnosed with cancer in the rectum. He's too old for surgery, he doesn't fancy radiotherapy as it comes with side effects and risks so we've agreed he should carry on as normal for now.

He lives alone, is disabled and lives a fairly independent life and is generally upbeat. He has no cancer symptoms at the moment so that we can be thankful for. Except in the last few days he is needing the toilet more frequently. I'm thinking this is a cause of the cancer and it scares me to think this could be the start of a decline!

Harder for me is that I can't find any info online specifically about very elderly people and inoperable cancer. I'm trying to take it day by day but not knowing what to expect in the future for him is hard! Thanks for listening!

Nicnak72 1 month ago

Hi Lyndene,

I can’t offer you much information about this as it’s completely different from my own experience. However, I will say there are forums here for family members just like you and I’m sure someone there will be able to reassure you. I can’t imagine it will be an easy journey and I’m sending you love and strength, I’m sure there will be lots of folk here and in your hospital who can help. Are you aware of Macmillan nurses in your hospital? They could certainly help with information and support for you both. I imagine if you ring the helpline here tomorrow they will be able to guide you.

Take Care of yourself too,

Nic

Susan13 30 days ago

I'm sorry to hear about your father. I can't offer specific information since I received treatment for my rectal cancer.

However, I will say that this type of cancer is generally slow growing so your dad may have quite a bit of time left.

More frequent bathroom trips is probably due to the cancer but is not necessarily a sign of imminent decline. No one could rule it out but it doesn't seem like a thing to worry too much about. Watch out for excessive blood. I'd check in with his care team if it becomes a problem for him or if he is having trouble staying hydrated.

I'm no doctor but my greatest concern would be a blockage. Watch for changes in the size and shape of the stool (becoming very small or thin) that may indicate the tumor beginning to block passage. There may be more signs to look for so it may be worth asking his care team. (Of course you want to look for the emergency signs too! I'm hoping you can catch it before it becomes an emergency. )

Hopefully his care team will have given you a list of things to watch out for to prevent an emergency situation. That's another thing you may wish to ask for if they haven't given it to you.

Best Wishes. Ask anything. I'm sure a community champion will be along soon and may be able to provide links to appropriate resources.

Lyndene 30 days ago in reply to Nicnak72

Yes I was going to ring the helpline, I did before his official diagnosis and they were great. Thanks for the reply!

Lyndene 30 days ago in reply to Susan13

A bit of info at last! Thankyou. I know every case is different though. But it's good to hear from other people and know that support is out there. I think the unknown is the worst thing!