Newly Diagnosed

Hey there.  I’m in pretty much the same situation as you.  I’ve been told my tumour is likely cancer but biopsy will confirm.  It’s in the same part of the colon and pretty much the same size.  I had my CT last Wednesday and I’m hoping that my case will be reviewed today.  

For me my first thought was my daughter.  I think our job as parents is to protect them but the stress is overwhelming.  I was given a fantastic bit of advice by a friend who said just answer the questions that they ask.  Not sure if this help or not.  Ive been very open with my daughter but she’s not going through exams and is 11 so feeds off of our moods.   

I managed to have a positive weekend and then it hits me like a ton of bricks.  

So how you’re feeling from my experience is totally normal   

X

Hi AJW84 and a warm welcome to the board. Yes it’s a shock isn’t it and the waiting for results and meetings to be held is very stressful but once you have a plan in place then things will honestly feel a bit better.

Bowel cancer is notoriously slow growing but very treatable. Please stay away from google - it can be scary and out of date - there’s lots of information on here and the bowel cancer uk board and you can ask anything you like and we’ll give you an honest answer. The support desk is also there every day from 8-8 if you want to chat to someone in person?

Ive attached a link to a booklet that I was given at my first meeting which is useful in terms of terminology, what to expect etc.

bowelcancerorguk.s3.amazonaws.com/.../Bowel_Cancer_UK_Your_Pathway_V10.1.pdf

We’re all at different stages of treatment and recovery on here and, if you click on people names, then their profile page may show their treatment to date.

Ive put up a post about talking to children and teenagers which you might find helpful - I was told at my first appointment that they were treating me with ‘a view to cure’ which was reassuring to tell family (that was in 2016)

The next few months will be tough but please keep posting and we’ll help and support you through this 

Take care

Karen x

Thank you for the reply and I agree, kids always come first so finding it hard to keep it all in. Staying calm and "normal" around them is the agreed approach. Thankfully they all go to school so can be a little more open and relaxed with my mood/feelings during the day and then focus heavily on being "me" when they are home. The first weekend this weekend will be a truer test.

Thank you. All very useful. Oddly I did only Google to see if there was anything local to me where I can pop along and have in-person chats with someone but there isn't.

My Bowel nurse called me this afternoon, things are rapidly moving and my MDM is scheduled for next Thursday so will hopefully know more by the end of next week.

Hi 

I’m in a similar position- early diagnosis, no stage/grade information and feeling dazed after being hit by the C-bus. 

I have a lesion in my ascending bowel. 

Similar to you, I was delivered this information on a Saturday after my colonoscopy, and received a call from my Bowel nurse specialist on the Monday. All I can think about is my hubby and kids. I decided to bring my daughter home from uni & sat her down with my son (who’s in A levels) and told them. The following day, contacted the uni/school to put support structures in place - they have been faultless.

Breaking the news to them was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I knew that this thing would be tough to hide, and we now all speak openly about it. This has taken an immense amount of pressure off my shoulders. 

So far, pretending nothings wrong (when it is) and always “being strong” for myself and everyone else is ABSOLUTELY EXHAUSTING!!! 

Meanwhile, I continue to work…continue to live while the wait for results continues…..It feels like a cloud hangs over me on most days, but I’m always looking up for a glimmer of hope & positivity…

Hey and thanks for sharing. Yes it does suck!

I've let my immediate family know, more so I have someone to unload on that isn't my wife as she will have a lot on her plate with the children as well. I told them no brotherly love, as we haven't done that for 30 odd years so don't start now. Treat me normally and act normally when you see us all.

It is tiring, it is strange as before I had my diagnosis I wasn't too bad, but since Sunday, everything is more tiring but nothing has changed. I guess that is the masking the problems from the children and my mind working overdrive.

My employer has been fantastic and is allowing me to do whatever, just told me to go out and do the Christmas shopping instead of working as you won't have time in a few weeks. I am fortunate I think because the owner of my company passed away from cancer a few years ago, and now his siblings run the business they understand more than anything the impact this has on people.

MDM scheduled for next Thursday, lets wait and see.

Just to update here. We have told the children who took it extremely well and have been very supportive. We spoke with the cancer nurse beforehand which really helped.

My surgery is booked for next Friday which is scary but also a relief to have it all sorted before Christmas. 

I'm so glad you have your surgery scheduled so promptly.  Hopefully you will be home to celebrate Christmas. 

Good luck with your surgery.  Thank you for the update. I love seeing how people are getting on. 

Good luck with surgery!

Mine is booked for next Tuesday. Focusing on the discharge date, so that I can recoup at home.