Just saying hello

It sounds, like you have done so well but do understand how traumatised you are feeling. 

I was fortunate not to have chemo and still feel on shock. 

It wasn't a complete shock when I got diagnosed but from then on everything moved quickly and before I knew it I was back at the consultant to be told they had got it and no further treatment. Then bang, I got home and cried all day reflecting on what had happened in the past ten weeks. I cried for those who wasn't as lucky as me and told myself to stop being so soft. I tried to get back to normal but it just wasn't happening. (I also had other problems, they day I got diagnosed my partner for twelve years decided I was worthless)

A year has past and I am rebuilding my life, hoping to get out of the house a buy a small place to start again. Awaiting scan results but colonoscopy at weekend was good. For the past week or so I felt safe back in the hands of the NHS so clearly they are my comfort zone. 

Health wise I feel great but mentally not quite there but will be soon hopefully. 

Could you get some counselling? I think I might see if I can get some more. I didn't find the first lot helpful because my head was all over the place but feeling stronger now.

Xx

Hi Jubow You’ve had a brilliant reply from Poppy60 and I think we all remember feeling like that? Cancer takes over your life while you’re having treatment and then, as daft as it sounds, leaves a big gap when your treatment finishes. Your comfort blanket (the hospital) feels like it’s been snatched away and there’s no regular appointment when you can just mention something? You know that you should feel happy and feel guilty that you’re not but I think you just need to focus on your own well being for now and then start to gradually get back to your life when you feel ready. A lot of people have found this paper helpful 

https://www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

There’s also a Life after Cancer page where The Highlander has some really good thoughts and ideas

 Life after cancer forum 

Take care

Karen x

That’s a great post Poppy60 and good to hear that you’re moving forward with your life. A clear colonoscopy is great news and I hope it’s helped reassure you? 

Not sure if you’ve ever seen the links that I’ve put in my reply to Jubow but they may be helpful?

Take care and I hope you’re able to buy your own place to call home in the very near future

Karen x

Thank you all for your replies.

Karen, Thank you for the resources… I’ll have a read now. And thank you Poppy60 for sharing your experience. 

I know it may sound strange but, throughout this journey I felt overwhelming gratitude…for all the support from my family and friends and, particularly, for the understanding from my husband and 11 year old daughter. Despite the cancer, I felt incredibly lucky.

 I am not very good at being kind or patient with myself though…perhaps, this is the next lesson I need to learn from all this!

thanks again 

juliana

Thank you Karen I will check out the links now.