Stage 4 and big decisions

Hi Brownie72 

It’s a difficult situation you find yourself in for sure . If I am reading this correctly you are seeking input on two options . Surgery but with consequences or continuous chemotherapy . . 

Maybe connection with people who live on continuous treatment might give you some insight into the quality of life although everyone is so different on chemo . But Bowel cancer U.K. has a group that you might like to join where people have insight into continuous treatment .

My mum has always had surgery with curative intent although some pretty difficult risks too .but they were not debilitating . She went for surgery and between that and two years of treatment she has managed  14 years as a stage 4 patient . It came back over a year ago and she has done a further ten months of treatment. It’s still there but slow growing . Her options have always been a little clearer in terms of outcomes so could not compare exactly . She likes to reduce the tumour burden .

The one thing we did find helpful in making some of the surgical decisions was to ask how often had the surgeon seen this outcome in their patients . It gave us more insight  into the situation . Also weigh up the risks associated with chemo as they are there too . For my mum it came down to quality of life .

Take care ,

Court 

Hey thanks for your input. Thr nurse advisor thinks chemo will be a better outcome as i will need to benin hosp 2 months and its not local. They also have to remove my backside to enter. Im 3st over weight which isnt too big deal but i am not hitting their fitness level i did a test at the hospital and the guy said for weight age and other medical i excelled. But the team said it was more a 4 and i neededna 7. They gave me exercises which screwed up my joints and now i have to wear a knee aid. I have had crohns and i suffer fibromaygia. I dont heal well either. They did decide not to do surgery but then said they could improvise. It means going tbru the pelvic wall etc my main issue is that its alot of risk and quality of life will never be the same (their words) but then chemo i have a port and side effects obviously but at least holidays etc. But pallative is such a horrid word. They never give u straight answers and always push for more. Sorry for the rant x

These are complex decisions. We also have a helpline and the staff there could chat to you . 0808 808 0000.

The thing about chemo , they can reduce the dose and help with side effects . Holiday breaks do help if my mum is anything to go by .

Would they consider surgery in the future if chemo did not work out for you ? 
My mum has a rough time on chemo but gets great results . This time she just had a targeted treatment and it was very doable . 

We completely ignore the term Palliative. Good for the health statisticians to plan for future treatment needs but not so helpful for individuals. Plus my mum has been under that particular heading for 14 years which is a big chapter in her life story . She prefer to think in terms of “being in treatment “ . It gives her a way forward and even at 81 she still pressed forward . She is just being discharged today and I have already had a phone call requesting what coat and jewellery to bring in . She took a look around her ward and thought I have more to give and better placed to do it and up she got .

I often think she is like the Phoenix rising from the ashes . Or down right defiance but each day matters and counts in her life .

You have a lot to consider . Are your children still young ? 

Children are a powerful driving force . My mum also liked to plan small goals each week . They add up . 
take care ,

Court