Finding it hard now that it’s so real

Hi Annie c

Thank you for sharing your story. 

My experience has been that support from beyond the family is a great help. I have a WhatsApp group of supporters with whom I can share. And it works horizontally as well as vertically. Lots of photos from our adventures as well as encouragement. 

Our families may be going through their own struggles as they come to terms with our illness. That can be an additional drain, and perhaps you could encourage them also to find outside help so it doesn’t all fall on you. It’s enough to deal with the treatment, and I’ve learned to be selfish - keeping back at least some emotional energy to cope with the day to day. 

Hi Annie, I’m 7 weeks post surgery and I’m waiting for a date for my Capox to start..I have to say that I’m really scared, I completely understand what you say about feeling lost, I too find it difficult to ask for help. I have found it helpful to read other people’s stories on here and find it a comfort as you know that people here completely understand what we are going through as they are going through it themselves. Stay strong and positive, you can do this and don’t be afraid to ask for help, your people will want to be there for you. 

Annie you sound like you're doing well! I wouldn't say you've been fooling yourself, it's more that these realisations and opportunities to accept our situation come in waves - we have to compartmentalise, pack it all up and put it aside so we can function in  our daily life. Perhaps the long hours on the infusion chair have given you the time to ponder and process.

When I get overwhelmed with "the implications" I remind myself that noone can know what the future holds, and what will be will be, so it is a waste of energy to get worked up about it. As for leaning on others, if you're the strong one can't you give some orders to be served and looked after?   How long will your chemo be? Hopefully only for a short while.