New to the online community

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Hello. I am new to the forum as I only got my prelimary diagnosis at the 10 minute appt at my GP's last week. I was informed that in all probability that I had bowel cancer. I had gone 6 weeks ago with what I thought was IBS. I have undergone a raft of tests and mri which showed thickening in part of my bowel. However I was and still am in a state of shock, I didn't even have time to ask what happens now.

But I have been a little hurt and taken a back by my daughters responses, I have been basically not to worry and just wait till its confirmed at the Hospital and that was that, thank goodness for German Shepherd's who give lots of cuddles and are literally stuck to my side at the moment. But I am really struggling with all the emotions I have and am not coping very well to say the least. I watched my nan die of bowel cancer and my thoughts keep going back to that. I feel as though I have a death sentence hanging over me. Luckily my husband who is out in Spain at the moment has managed to get a flight back at short notice, so hopefully I may feel slightly better when he arrives home.

Thanks you very much. Cathy

  • Hi Cathy and a warm welcome to the board. I always advise people to stay away from google and remember that thoughts are not facts so can see your daughters point of view that you haven’t had it confirmed by the hospital yet however telling someone not to worry is easier said than done. It may be something with similar traits to bowel cancer like ibs/colitis/crohns so the waiting for confirmation is often the worst part - once you know what you’re dealing with then things will honestly feel a bit better.

    Ok - so let’s talk about if it is bowel cancer? It’s not the death threat that it was years ago - it is very slow growing and very treatable - I was diagnosed in 2016 and the consultant told me that they were treating me with a view to cure. When I mentioned this to my doctor she said that it was good to hear and not something that would have been said 10 years ago. Treatment is continually evolving and there have been trials and improvements in just the last 7 years since I was diagnosed.

    Everyone here is at various stages of treatment and recovery and happy to help and support you through yours. If you click on peoples names then their profile page may show their treatment to date?

    Plesee think about giving the support desk a ring for a chat too if you’re struggling - they’re lovely and there every day from 8-8

    Take care and keep us posted?

    Karen x

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
  • Thank you so much for your reply, I actually am beginning to feel not as alone as I have been. I think you are definitely right in that treatment has moved on since my Nan died because of the bowel cancer. But it is this unknown period, the GP in all probability it was bowel cancer and blinded me with the percentages of tests, giving me numbers that mean t nothing to me. I am usually a vocal and questioning person but that day I acted like an idiot by saying nothing, not even where do I go from here. 

    I am most grateful for your response. Cathy

  • You’re very welcome. Only 1 in 10 colonoscopies results in a bowel cancer diagnosis so that may be what your GP was referring to? Have you had a colonoscopy yet? I could see my tumour on screen and they told me straight away that they were 99% sure it was cancer but they have to send the samples taken off for analysis.

    Its natural to feel shocked and like a rabbit in the headlights. My husband was close to tears and I just said “well we’d better go and tell my mum and dad” - I think semi- denial was my way of dealing with it and maybe still is in a way,

    You're definately not alone on here so please keep posting x

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
  • Hi Cath, I am also a mad/proud GSD owner or should I say we are owned by our German Shepherd. We have a male, called Enzo and he is our 5th one. GSD's are the best nurses ever. and are definitely velcro dogs. I was diagnosed July 22 and have had surgery/chemo and am doing well. Last check up in June 23, NED. I can relate to your horror at what your GP stated but until you have a final diagnosis, conserve your sanity and remember there are many other things it could be. From my experience, our children find it hard to hear that their parents could be potentially unwell and their current stance of telling you not to worry is a coping mechanism because if you don't worry, they won't have to either. I hope that you get the results soon and try to remember that thoughts are not facts and also stay away from Dr. Google.My brother also died from bowel cancer back in 1973 at the age of 9 but tests but the surgeon confirmed that mine was not related to his just a case of what I term bad luck. Even if you are diagnosed with bowel cancer, treatments have come on so much, even since I was diagnosed last year and hopefully you will look back and just term this time as a blip in your life's journey and not the defining moment. Sending you hugs and positivity and a woof and hairy hugs from Enzo xx

  • Thanks for your response. I am going for the colonoscopy and gastroscope next Sunday, having them both done the same afternoon. I had a colonoscopy I think 3 years ago and the procedure didn't go well, I found it difficult to tolerate, painful and am so worried about going through it again on Sunday. I am going to ask for some sedation this time which I really hope they will give me. 

    I have had an MRI SCAN which the report said 'two areas of thickening in the bowel', but nobody has yet told me what that means and of course I am again thinking of every bad thing it could be. I am having a real bad couple of days and nights as I cannot sleep and in the early hours my thoughts are always very negative. I am just anxious about everything, from using the bowel prep to sitting waiting for the results when I get them. I keep going through in my mind how I will handle the results if I do have cancer and at the moment I don't think I am strong enough a person to cope compared to others on the online community who are certainly much braver than I am. So this weekend I have already convinced myself I definitely have cancer and am unable to get it out of my head then the anxiety really hits me physically and mentally. 

    I apologise for being such a negative person at the moment but do not feel I can reach out to my husband and tell him some of the very negative thoughts I am having as I know he would be terribly worried.

    Again sorry for my negativity but that's me this weekend unfortunately. 

    Cathy

  • Hi Cathy. Please don’t apologise for being negative - the waiting for tests and results sends your mind into overdrive and it’s natural to ‘fear the worst’. The thickening of the bowel wall can be caused by an infection or inflammation caused by crohns or irritable or polyps. The colonoscopy will allow them to look at all the bowel and biopsy any bits as necessary.

    You will be offered gas and air or a mild sedation through a cannula. I’ve always had the sedation -you’re still awake and can see what’s going on in the screen (if you want to) but you’re very relaxed. If you are suffering any discomfort then they can add a little more through the cannula. You’ll be taken to a room afterwards for the sedation to wear off and given tea and something to eat. You can’t drive yourself home and need someone to be with you for 24 hours afterwards. A member of the medical team will then discuss what they’ve seen and done.

    The bowel prep isn’t pleasant but you need to get through it to have a nice empty bowel for them to get round. I’ve always had moviprep which is 2 sachets mixed with a litre of water and drunk as per the instructions. It’s best to chill it for an hour in the fridge then I drink it through a wide straw - 4 big slurps then a swig of something to take the taste away. You can try adding cordial to it but try it in a small amount first in case it makes it worse. Dark coloured drinks like blackcurrant should be avoided as they can stain the bowel. Try and finish both lots as they will check with you and you don’t want to have to do it again.

    I can’t say if you have bowel cancer or not but if you have then you will get through it - I’ve read your profile and you sound to be a very strong lady. As I’ve said before bowel cancer is very treatable and there are lots of people on here going through it too who feel exactly like you do
    Please think about ringing the support desk and talking to them? Maybe think about opening up to your husband too? As women we try to put on a brave front so as not to worry others but he’s probably worrying about what you’re not saying to him?

    Keep posting please - we’re here to support you through this

    Take care

    Karen x

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
  • Thanks so much for your response. I agree totally that my 3 German Shepherd's actually own me too, but the last few days I know they are aware that I am not my usual self and will not leave my side no matter the time of day or night but I am grateful to them for that.

    I do constantly try to stop the thoughts I am having but they just appear in my anxious mind from nowhere. I am so dreading the investigations next weekend but I know it's got to be done as I will then know after I get my results exactly what I have and that hopefully stop this fear of the unknown which is eating away at me.

    Also at the moment I cannot make any plans, just in case. In December and for the last 12 years we book a week in the Lake District with the dogs, but I just can't make that booking. I know it sounds silly but I think it's somehow going to tempt my fate. I just cannot think about anything in the future.

    But I really do appreciate your response and find them reassuring coming from people who understand my very mixed up thought processes. 

    Thanks for very much

    Cathy

  • Hi Cathy. I can understand the fear of the unknown but you will feel more reassured when the medics confirm what they are dealing with and how they plan to treat you. I agree that you should not book the December trip. I had to cancel our annual trip to Bordeaux to stay with my mumin July 22 due to my out of blue diagnosis,but there will be more opportunities to enjoy holidays, just get past next weekend and things will be clearer. Keep yourself occupied, take your lovely dogs on long walks, do those domestic tasks that you may have been putting off andjust be kind to yourself. We have all been where you are now and are still here, slightly less sane but living our best lives xx