Trying to be there for my world

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At the beginning of September my partner who had no symptoms except for severe constipation and discomfort was diagnosed with cancer.

To say it has taken us all by surprise is an understatement, one minute being told by her GP she needed an enama, to arriving at A&E then one of the hospital surgical team giving us the worst news that she has rectal cancer of a considerable size.

We as a family are already going through the horrible reality of cancer since my mother was diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer in June 2022, she has always been a strong woman and has reached over12 months already and is more concerned about my partner than herself.

Unfortunately in the case of my partner, we are no nearer to finding out the extent or stage of her cancer, tests and scans have been done but no news yet, we are waiting for the biopsy results and also waiting for a PET CT scan. She has always been my world and now comes the hardest part of her life, but I must be strong for her as she has always been for me.

I have read many of the people's stories on here about the wins and losses with cancer, my heart goes out to each and every one of you all, don't give up, keep fighting and be a beacon of hope for others.

court over 1 year ago

Welcome Ian.s . You and your loved ones are having a tough time but I hope we can offer you support as it really does strengthen you to be a better support to the people you love .

You are being pulled in different directions right now . I used to get up in the morning and say “ what is required of me today “ not tomorrow or the next day and narrowing it down helped me get a handle on the tougher ones .

A patient once told me to keep my head where my body was . Not to allow it to go to worse case situations . This advise got me through many days .

Take care ,

Court

Helpline Number 0808 808 0000

PattyK over 1 year ago in reply to court

Hello Ian.s

I am so sorry to read your post. I sadly lost my husband in June this year to bowel cancer after an almost 2 year fight. At the beginning like your partner he showed no symptoms up until the time he began having `toilet issues` and reverse as your partner he couldn't stop going. Please don't let this alarm you as everyone's cancer journey is different. My husband was just one of the unfortunate one and this may not be so with your partner. He was cleared after getting it all cut out last January (2022) but it cruelly came back for him in May 2022 and he passed on 23rd June this year as I said altogether from getting his diagnosis to treatment almost a 2 year battle. His was dormant for three years previous before his surgery without showing symptoms his surgeon informed him and it just surfaced with the toilet issues. My sister unfortunately has recently been diagnosed also with bowel cancer but we have been told her's is not to the extent of what my husband was and they may just have caught this one in time so as I said everyone's journey is different. She has a date for her surgery on the 11th October this year so not too far away. I am sending you strength and best wishes on your journey with this. Take Care

Vicky xx

Ian.s over 1 year ago in reply to PattyK

My heart goes out to you on what was a most harrowing time, I apologise if any of this message causes upset or pain, I've never been a person who brought his emotions to the forefront so people could see, I was always the person who everyone looked to as I kept my balance while others around me could not.

You sound like myself to have been thrust into a spiraling set of emotions, but I find your message a person who seems to have a lot of inner strength and love to be able to be there for others.

I do hope that your sister as you say has been caught in time and her surgery goes well and her recovery is swift.

All I can do is offer my thoughts to you and your family, thank you from the bottom of my heart for the story of you journey so far,

Ian x

PattyK over 1 year ago in reply to Ian.s

Not at all Ian. I did not find your post upsetting just hope mine was able to give you some hope and support. Yes it has not been a great year for me on the whole but hey, it is what it is and hopefully I'll end it on a high note and next year will be better. Yes everyone says I'm doing great with what has happened and what is to come but I still as you can imagine have my `dark days` which are brightening slowly. It's only been 3 months since my husband passed so I still look on it as early days and just try to look for the positives out there. Please take care and my best wishes to you on your journey.

Vicky x