Waiting for treatment for colorectal cancer

Oh, Mags56 , just you come here and rant, we have all been there, one way or another! I didn't get treatment before my op, so can't comment, but others will be along. The feelings you have though are valid and common. And I used to get fed up of being called strong sometimes, as if we have a choice!!! Sending ((hugs))

Hi Mags56 and a warm welcome to the bowel board. I’ve just had a look at your profile page - you’ve certainly been through a lot over the past few years haven’t you? I think you have every right to feel angry and yes you are definitely strong but you have every right to feel that life is being a little unfair to you at the moment.

I’ll understand if you don’t want to answer but just wondered why you felt the guilt, shame and embarrassment? You can be honest about how you’re feeling on here and nobody will judge - we’re happy to listen and send virtual hugs when needed.

Im sure you know the support desk is there if a chat with them would help and the numbers under my name.

Hope the chemoradiotherapy goes well and please post if you’ve any questions or worries

Take care

Karen x

Thank you Karen. I can’t really explain why I feel the way but I’ll try.

When I was given this diagnosis I felt guilt and the first thing I asked my doctor was it anything to do with my diet as I only eat once a day. She explained it could be many things including being hereditary. 
I’m quite a private person and I have felt quite embarrassed by the investigations but I know I’ve got to get over myself on that one
The shame is a couple of  persons reaction to my diagnosis and they didn’t want to call it what it was. 
I know it doesn’t seem like much there but I had a similar time when diagnosed with lung cancer and couldn’t really talk about it. 
I do try to be upbeat and usually succeed so I’m sure I’ll bounce back on this once my treatment starts properly. .
I know I have support of my cancer nurse and now people from here so thanks again x

Mags

Thanks Gemmary

i suppose it’s the waiting that doesn’t help either although I have to say that I’ve been very lucky in the time line for my diagnosis and treatment dates. 
I can’t really let my family know exactly how I feel as I don’t want to upset them. It’s difficult. 
Thanks for the virtual hug. x

It looks like you have been in the wars too looking at your profile so a big hug back to you ️ x

Mags

Hi Mags I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve suffered another setback in your cancer “journey”. I do wish we could find another way to describe how things change when you get a new diagnosis. The waiting never gets any easier. I remember feeling like I’d let my surgeon down when I was told I had a secondary. I actually told him that when I got a call out of the blue. I did everything I could do to stay fit and healthy. My husband asked the oncologist if I had done anything to cause my initial cancer! Try to be patient with yourself and keep posting about how you feel. My dad recently told me how proud he is of how I’ve handled things. He doesn’t know the things I post on here where I pour my heart out. Trying to protect our loved ones can be exhausting. Sending you lots of virtual hugs.

Hi Jools63

I received your hugs so thank you. It is so difficult keeping your spirits up for your family but I really cannot let them know exactly how I feel. I have read your profile and I believe your dads got every right to be proud of you.

 What chemotherapy did you have, tablets? I will be having Capecitabine alongside radiotherapy. When I had immunotherapy with my lung cancer I wasn’t as poorly as many other people but I do worry this time how I will be with a different regime. How did you get on with your treatment if you don’t mind me asking? 

The replies I’ve received on here since I first posted have really helped me so thanks again to all of you. 

Will chat again soon 

Mags x

Thanks for your kind words. When I got my secondary diagnosis I was told we should go straight for surgery as they thought it was the most appropriate treatment. Unfortunately, less than 6 months and it spread further into the liver. This time I was told chemotherapy. I had 2 infusions of oxaliplatin alongside capecitabine tablets. After 2 cycles I suffered severe side effects and the infusions had to be stopped. I also had a pause in the tablets. Three weeks later I restarted just the tablets. I have a scan on 17th August, and will find out if the tablets are working. If not …? I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t be afraid of whatever treatment, especially chemotherapy, you are offered. We all become our own experts in knowing how our bodies can cope, and fortunately we’re all different. Lots of luck. You deserve to “catch a break”.

Hi there.

I can empathise with you 
Bowel then lung both separate so I’ve had two primarys.

I’ve been fortunate that I’ve been a candidate for operations for both. I’m tired and fed up of the Word cancer. I haven’t told many about the lung however I was in critical care. Feel I want a break from it Then they called me in for breast. But that was an abscess easily removed. 
I don’t bother talking much about it as I don’t feel I have had a break and my family must be fed up too

In between that I try and make the most. It’s not easy but I try. I do come here to moan it’s a good place to speak your mind 
Im sending you a virtual hug too 

I hope that you can have some good days before your treatment starts  the weathers good here 

Hi Ann

You are so right about it all. Thank you for your hugs and sending them back. 
Mags x