Hello, I am looking after my husband with bowel cancer

Hi Terry 

This is a brilliant place for support and advice.
Can you say what operation your husband had as there’s diet to be considered depending on what stoma your hubby has. Colostomy or Ileostomy?

Theres another a great group  Ileostomy, colostomy and stoma support 

I found lots of tips and advice from members there. 

I didn’t have chemo but plenty have 

Take care 

Hi Torry,

I'm 51 and I have had a Stoma and CRC stage 4, since July 2021. I lost a lot of weight and struggle to keep the weight on. It is tough. I found the intitial chemo hits you hard, but it does get easier and you get used to it. But there is always some fatigue.

I could hardly walk when I initially but found out as I had an op to remove a tumour. But i found a little bit often as often as you can, like just getting up and doing 10 steps 2 to 3 times a day.

With the food I found everyone kept giving me these normal size portions and it was depressing and extremely difficult even to look at it, as I just knew I couldn't eat it all and that just put me off. I found small plates, and snacking helped. And shakes to get the weight on but small cups again.

The pills and medication are daunting to begin with, but once you get in a routine it isn't too bad. As soon as I was able to do it myself it was much better.

The stoma, keep in contact with your stoma nurse if you have any they are fantastic. Your husband will get used to what he can eat and what works. There are lots of different options for the bags, try as many as you can to get the most comfortable one.

I'm not as fit as I was but I can take the dog for a long walk and feeling stronger all the time. 

I hope this helps, it is a very tough stage you are at, probably the worst, but it does get easier to cope with, there is lots of help out there. I have read countless books, and alternative therapies and remedies, and taking advise from other non-medical specialists. Try lots of things and who, or whatever you and your husband feels works stick with it. You're in control of this.

Focus on the good things you have. My kids and my wife are my inspiration.

Sending lots of hugs and good cancer fighting vibes.

Mac

Hello!

My husband is going through bowel cancer treatment. At present he is recovering from sepsis so chemo treatment stopped for now as they consider him too weak to get any more for now and his mobility is limited because of the sepsis also. Yes it's hard to watch them the way they are as compared to before. My husband loved his food and if I gave him what he wants to eat now about 5 years ago he would have screwed his face up and said something like `is that all there is? now it's `don't give me a lot` so very changed days for him from polishing off a full pizza to only wanting 2 or 3 slices and stacking his plate with potatoes and chips whereas now you have to count out how many he wants. His love for cakes, biscuits and more or less all things sweet and sugary have also gone. I would say he is more `cautious` as to what he eats and drinks now. He has kidney damage due to his chemo also and so I think he is a bit paranoid of what he wants to eat and drink now. His mobility is getting worked on we have physios coming into the house to help with that but he is trying his best to work on it himself too. We are in a main door upstairs flat so you need to go down a flight of stairs to the front door so he is trying to do so much of that himself everyday but has been told by the physios not to rush it and it's a gradual process. He has lost so much weight too and it is really weird to see him how he is because he has always been `a big chunky bloke`. His mood gets quite low at times too and he gets tired easily but some days are good and I see my `old hubby` coming back. My best wishes to you on your journey. 

Vicky x

Thankyou for your reassuring words, it just seems that until we get into some sort of routine will have to manage. The stoma part is fine as I have to do that as he can’t bend etc but seem to have got that to a fine art now. It’s the rest of it, constant phone calls appointments visit etc that we don’t seem to have any time to process what’s going on. After over 50 years together can’t bear it as have a son having end of life treatment too. thank god our daughter is a godsend.

Thankyou for your reply , will check out the colostomy group. waiting to hear from dietician and think we are getting some sort of supplements soon.

Hi Torry

im sorry to read that your son is really ill you really must be busy and not had time to process 

The reason I asked which stoma he has is diet there’s a huge difference. Colostomy diets are much more varied so that is one positive at least he will be able to eat food that he enjoys 

Sending you a hug

Thankyou for your reply, I can relate to the food as my husband is barely eating at the moment and his blood sugar is trying to be controlled whereas it’s never been a problem. He is on massive doses of steroids as well as all the other stuff. Trying to get his to walk a little which will help and it’s good to know I’m not alone. Keep in touch x