Mums diagnosis and treatment

Hi Confused101, 

I'm new here but going through a similar situation so thought I'd get in touch. I'm so sorry to hear you are having such a tough time. My dad is currently waiting on his results from treatment before finding out the plans for surgery. I feel like he is handling it way better than I am bless him. I just feel so anxious and overwhelmed waiting on results. I keep getting dizzy spells and migraines. And the same as you I often feel bad for him doing any of this alone. He is a widower and on his own so I'm his only support. I want to be there for him as much as I can but I'm also struggling myself. I'm just praying the treatment has worked and he fully recovers.

Sending all my love to you and your mum. Know that you are not alone. 

Hi Mellabella, 

Thank you for reaching out. Im sorry to hear your dads diagnosis. Sending love and support for you both. Its difficult how these affect us as well. Keep an eye on those dizzy spells and migraines. My mum is being incredibly strong, where as im more like a bag of nerves. If that makes sense. Im constantly worried is she okie or is she just putting on a brave face for me. I have let her know that i am here no matter what. Ill be there for her when she starts her cemo. She was positive when she got her diagnosis the dr mentioned she might not need to have any. But her results came back that she needs treatment.

Mad thing is she has to wait for an appointment which can take 2 weeks to come through. Were both worried what the side effects might be when she starts the treatment x

Hi Confused 101

So sorry you are going through this but everyone here will get what you are going through. I am currently supporting my husband who is going through bowel cancer. His cancer was a recurrance of the initial cancer which he got cut out last January and came back in May last year. He is currently going through chemotherapy but unfortunately after a few hospital admissions with sepsis this had to stop and for now he is in recovery for that and they won't restart it until they think he is well enough. Kepp coming on here everyone is great there are also advisers you can speak to either on the phone or online chat whatever's your preference. The advisers are there until 8 at night every night. You can speak to a nurse as well If you go to the link `Ask An Expert` you will get a drop down menu and there will be an option to `speak to a nurse`. Take Care and hope everything works out ok for your mum. 

Patty K.

Thank you for your reply. I didn't realise until recently how having a loved one with a cancer diagnosis actually affects the whole family. This must be difficult for you both.

Its nice there is a community out there for support and help and advice 

How do you support someone who has this but doesn't want youre help or anything 

Im struggling with that as well 

Hi Confused101 

Welcome to the forum.

You sound as though you have a lovely relationship with your mum .

I was knocked sideways when my mum was diagnosed. But you will strength . Your mum will get onto a routine of chemo and it’s the sort of situation you learn as you go what is best for each individual. One cycle at a time and she will get through it . The staff are wonderful and take fantastic care of them . 

It feels a mountain at this stage but by taking it piece by piece , process by process you will both get there .

Driving an hour after work a lot sounds very tiring . Have you had a chat with your GP . Taking care of your needs is a must . Your mum needs you well . It was the best thing I did .

Take care ,

Court 

Hi  

Your quote : I didn't realise until recently how having a loved one with a cancer diagnosis actually affects the whole family!

is sooooo true!!

my advice at this time , and I’m speaking as a parent with grown up children trying to support both myself & hubbie .  keep being the daughter you are! You are obviously close knit , loving,& supportive..

keep your relationship real in the aspect of talking openly , crying and most importantly laughing together! Do the everyday things as normal as possible!! Keep in mind it’s ‘living with cancer’ .. Living, !

from parents point of view , outwith medical side ,, parent is probably trying to shield and protect you , it’s instinct!!  Enjoy each other , rediscover things that make you both laugh , enjoy doing , even if it’s just shopping or pulling out the old family pictures and having a giggle at those hairstyles from the past!

Hi, I was diagnosed last August and only starting treatment in June. So don’t worry ️

Yes that sounds familiar. My husband has forbid me to phone anyone if he feels out of sorts because he is paranoid he will have to go back into hospital as he didn't find the experiences of being in there very pleasant. Yes this is good site if you want to come on and have a wee rant about anything or just to get stuff off your chest. As I said there will always be someone who can relate to what you are going through. Take Care.

Vicky x

Hi Confused101, thanks so much! I couldn't relate more. My dad has took on his treatment and diagnosis so well- I'm so proud of him. I've been an anxious wreck. It's so hard isn't it. I am his main support system and I just worry he feels all alone or isolated managing all of this. I use to worry about him a lot before his diagnosis but this has just amplified things. I really hope things go okay with your mum's treatment. I will be thinking of you both! If I can ease your worry at all- the side effects with my dad weren't as bad as we expected and he had regular check ups to see how he was doing. I totally understand about the waiting- it feels unbearable at times doesnt it. You just want to get going with it. Lots of love to you both!