Hi all,
My mum (56) has recently been told she has a bowel tumour. They are 99% sure it’s malignant. We are awaiting results from biopsy and also awaiting to have CT scans and MRI scans next week. They have told her she will need to have surgery to have the tumour removed.
Would love to hear some suggestions and advice on how to help get my mum get through this horrible waiting period of the unknown. Any positive story’s or information would be great. Anything you can suggest to help my mum get up doing things again as she has no drive to want to do anything at the moment, even housework which she absolutely loves doing and normally she’s up first thing doing her housework before work and even after work! She works full time but is currently signed off work.
She has been on anti depressants and sleeping tablets for 5 days now (first time in her life she’s taken prescribed medication). She is finding it really hard to sleep and finds herself waking up in the night having panic attacks.
We have been getting her out each day to go for a walk and we have been with her every day since she’s had the news as she doesn’t want to be alone which is completely understandable.
Look forward to hearing your suggestions and advice.
Hi Kotkit
Others will be along with lots of info. I just wanted to say hello and that this is the hardest time. You are helping your mum so much by trying to pass the time with her.
I can understand her panic attacks I felt the same. It’s a lot to process yes but you don’t know how much is coming.
Rabbit in the headlights. Flight or fright. For me it was Freeze but the adrenaline still made me very anxious
If you click on members names their back story may help once you have a treatment plan
Im sending you all a hug keep chatting here if it help
Take care x
Ann
Hi Kotkit.
I found factual information helpful to get head around what was happening to me and to help set my expectations.
This is the best read I found : https://bowelcancerorguk.s3.amazonaws.com/Publications/YourPathway_BowelCancerUK.pdf
Once biopsie results are in, the multi-disciplinary team (MDT) will swiftly recommend what's best for your mum. For some of us here (and depending where the tumour is), that was surgery within just 2-3 weeks.
My top tip is find things your mum loves - whether it's adventerous or simple quality time together watching favourite films or doing creative crafts, it doesn't matter. The time now will help her boost herself ready for the journey ahead.
And Macmillan helpline or webchat may be helpful for her to privately and impartially discuss her feelings.
Good luck and your mum is also welcome to ask us any questions she has (as Artsie mentioned - click on usernames to see more about us)
Hi, I’m sorry you find yourself in this position.
For me I take one day at a time. I box things in different boxes when I’m due a scan or oncology appointment it comes out of the box and after them it all goes back in the box.
it’s not easy but I am living my life the same as before going on breaks seeing friends and family. The only time I speak about it is when it’s out of the box as I said.
That’s how I personally deal with it others will have their own way. When I got my diagnosis I thought there is only two ways this can go. I either get depressed by letting it consume me or just live my life to the full. I chose the latter as I can’t do anything to change my diagnosis I am where I am.
I view it as not dying from cancer but living with cancer.
You can click on my profile to see my story.
Sending you a massive hug
Good luck on your journey. ️
Cath
