Hi. My wife got diagnosed.

Welcome, Another Matt , you are in the right place for support both for yourself and your wife. No question too silly! Just remember that bowel cancer is very curable, particularly if caught early. Take care

Hi Matt 

it sounds as though you’re doing well smashing the washing cooking etc. it’s got to be so hard for you.

So take a little time for you to process this news it’s a lot shock 

The stoma don’t worry about as long as the cancer is in the bin There’s a fantastic stoma group here I joined  I was flying abroad and living a full life in no time 

take care 

.Ann 

Thank you so much for your reply. I think that's the elephant in the room for us right now. It's something I can't quite deal with at the moment ... what I mean is I worry about how she will handle it. She's a very practical and strong person though, so I know she will, but it's just the anguish in the meantime. 

But your message has really helped me to see we can deal with this. 

It’s a lot to process. My husband was so supportive when I was going through the diagnosis and consultation. I was up for getting rid of the cancer it’s horrible knowing it’s there. There’s one day I remember when I was having doubts about a stoma and I said to Joe that. I may not have it done. 
The pain in his face. I changed my mind quickly. Also he has a friend who’s Dad refused the operation and had a terrible time. 

I embraced my stoma she’s my avatar called Whoopi. She saved my life 

I wore all the cloths I wore before swam ate out no one knew unless I told them. 
Im not sure which operation your wife is having if you put it up lots here will have great advice. I had an Ileostomy, I didn’t know that existed before my operation. Others have a colostomy

Take care 

Hi Another Matt and it’s nice to meet you too - welcome to the board. Hopefully your wife is recovering well and will be allowed home soon? The stoma nurses will make sure she’s comfortable with emptying and changing her bag but there’s loads of advice and top tips on here so ask away. I remember a lady on the bowel cancer uk board being adamant that she wasn’t having a stoma almost to the point of refusing surgery. She’s now thinking of not bothering to have it reversed! If your wife is as practical and strong as you say then I’m sure she’ll take it in her stride - the important thing is that the cancers been removed and the stoma will allow her bowel to heal.

Good to hear that you’ve mastered the domestic chores - your wife won’t be able to lift anything heavier than a kettle with 1 cupful of water in for a good few weeks so keep up the good work!

Take care

Karen x

Karen that always makes me smile 

only lift a kettle with one cup of water 

That’s exactly what my surgeon told me pre op and I laughed out loud. Joe didn’t! 

Yes hers is an ileostomy - it all depends if her bowel heals but there is doubt as the surgery was right near the rectal muscles. I think she’s just starting to get her head around things although she’s on so many drugs she’s still so sleepy. she’s also on her period in post op so lots of fluids :( She is tough though and everyone around her will be so supportive. 
It’s difficult seeing the kids upset (daughter 15 and son 10) but I try to keep them laughing through the bad times. 
yeah I’m fully locked into the household chores but in a weird way, it is so fulfilling to be able to hold things together. 

You’re doing well.
She will be able to recover well with your support. My hubby was the same though I haven’t got children at home he completely took over 

Did she gave a LAR with a loop Ileostomy? 
If so it’s reversible, though in all honesty I seriously got on so well with mine I was really tempted to keep it. 

The stoma support group here are fabulous

Take care 

Like others have said.stomas are really easy to manage so tell your wife not to worry.just think of the thousands of people who have one and are living perfectly ordinary lives.you would never guess they had one unless they told you and do everything,wear everything and eat most things they did before(well maybe not sweetcorn!!)

Kath