New to cancer

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Hello there

I have unfortunately had some bad news recently and have been told that my lovely mom has stage 3 rectal cancer. I’ve lived in Sydney the last few years so I flew home and have been here since helping her.

im finding it hard to know what to do- do I stay and help support or do I go back to my life and be ridden with guilt. Also, during radiotherapy at the moment she is absolutely wiped out… is this normal?

sorry for all the questions but also, what are the signs that chemo and radiation therapy is working?? Has anyone noticed anything different in a positive way? I’m looking for hope. I feel sick with worry.

A million worries are going through my head… which I know a lot of you have been through too. Xx

CrumpetsOrToast over 1 year ago

Hi TinaTina

Sorry to hear about how you're feeling.

I was wondering if any of these would be helpful?

Macmillan helpline (phone or webchat) offers medical advice through to emotional support.
Macmillan via Bupa offers counselling
This community offers real life experiences and hopefully uplifting support. Click on usernames as many of use give a insight into our situations. You can also "friend" people if you want more private or 1 to 1 discussions
Bowel cancer uk also have some great guidance documents under ther 'publication' section. My must read recommendation is the "Your Pathway" document that includes some info on side effects

My cancer isn't suitable for radiotherapy but I'm on chemotherapy, and being wiped out is very common. For me it is chronic fatigue.. There will be many others here that can share radiotherapy advice.

As for signs of whether it's working, it's very varied by consultant and patient. Some people get indications from bloodwork or scans, others have to wait and see.

As for your decision to stay or go. It's tricky one to answer with no real rights and wrongs. I'd recommend talking honestly and openly with your mum about her needs + wishes. This may help you jointly create a plan that works well for you both. But don't forget look at and include your own aspirations and needs, as these are equally important.

Stay strong.

Poppy60 over 1 year ago

I know that feeling. I lived and worked in Japan then dad became ill. I came home 3 times a year to help mum. I was torn and heartbroken leaving my parents but the thought of returning to England filled me with dread. Eventually my conscious made that decision for me. I returned and although dont regret because I am here for mum now I am sad and deeply miss my life in Japan x

Smileymo over 1 year ago

It’s a hard one knowing what to do, do you stay or go. Maybe talk to someone from macmillan also with your mum. How do you feel also do you work have family in Sydney.

I had radiotherapy finished it 6 months ago and I am still fatigued. I was told that this is normal also in

December had an operation so getting over that too. The advice I can give is if your mum is wiped out, rest on better days do something she enjoys. I find that this helps me no days are the same

hope you find some answers