Finding ways to overcome the mental stress of having and now coming out of my cancer

Hi sportygirl and a warm welcome to the board. You’ve had a rotten 18 months so I’m not surprised that you’re struggling.

From a practical point of view 4 weeks is very early days and your bowels can take months to settle down after a reversal. Do you take immodium/loperamide to help at all? When out and about I would make sure you always have a little bag with you with spare knickers, wipes, poo bags etc. just for reassurance. Also make sure you have a radar key for accessing disabled toilets, a Macmillan Urgent card and I think there’s also an app you can download showing you where the nearest public toilet is?

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/bladder-cancer/using-public-toilets

You might also like to join the Colostomy, Ileostomy board which has a section with top reversal tips

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/ileostomy-and-colostomy-discussions-forum/f/stoma-reversal-and-lars

Lastly do you have a Maggies Centre near you? They have lots of advice about coping with life after cancer and sone towns have monthly meetings. Your Colorectal Support Nurse may also have information about Moving on from Cancer courses and the support desk here can also help - they are offering 6 free counselling sessions with BUPA if you feel that might be of benefit. A lot of people have also found this paper helpful 

https://www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Sorry about all the links but hopefully you’ll find some of them useful

Take care

Karen x

You've had a tough time, sportygirl, I feel for you. Please take time to read the paper Karen has given  a link to. I think you will find it helpful.

And now you have found this site, you will never be alone, as someone is pretty much always around to chat to, even if they can't help with the specifics. Take care, xx

Hi Sportygirl 

I had my reversal September 2nd so I am exactly in the same place as you. But I had my stoma August 4th 2021 so my bowel was very sleepy to wake up. 
Im so sorry you lost your partner. You’ve been through so much. Karen has given you some great links. 
Take care 

Hi Karen thank you so much for your reply and I’m grateful for the links you have sent. I do have a Toilet Priority Card and a Radar key from when I had my ileostomy but I just don’t like the fact that things may come before I even get a chance to get to a toilet.
I found it hard when people found out I had a stoma - the look on their faces was very distressing for me and that’s why I didn’t want to tell anyone about my cancer. I know through the media, public awareness has improved peoples knowledge about bowel cancer and getting to know how my body functions again after my reversal will take time. The one thing I do know is that whether I stayed with my stoma or not my surgeon did a fantastic job and ultimately this was a life saving operation for me.

I had a call yesterday from a stoma nurse for a review and she is looking into some information for me about a HOPE Programme near me that may help improve how I’m feeling.

There isn’t a Maggies Centre near me sadly - I did find this helpful when I was travelling over to The Churchill Hospital in Oxford for my chemo and radiotherapy.

Thank you for your help xx