My name is Nicky and I am new here.
3 weeks ago I discovered my mum has an aggressive form of breast cancer and last Saturday I discovered my darling partner has bowl cancer. I live outside Oxford and my mum lives in Mid Wales. I don’t know how I am supposed to support both of them 350 miles apart??
My head is spinning off my shoulders and I feel completely overwhelmed and It’s hit me physically, mentally and emotionally!!
I desperately want to support them both but I am out of my depth. I should be better than this!! I’m struggling to sleep and eat due to stress. I must do better than this to support my partner.
Unfortunately my partner is my main carer as I have fibromyalgia and ME. My pain has shot up due to stress making it very difficult to care for my wonderful partner
I would appreciate any advice please. Thank you so much 
xx
Hi Nicky66
Im sorry that you have this terrible situation as it must be tugging your head all over the place. It’s a massive amount to process.
They treatment for both breast and bowel is amazing. Having bowel myself and my sister and sister in law and two friends recently with breast the treatment is amazing.
So think of that they’re both in their treatment plan or having tests to decide on their best options
Does your Mum have a support network?
You can’t be there all of the time because of your condition so she will not expect you to drive 350 miles
Can she FaceTime?
So you will be able to check into her and speak to her support regularly
If you save your strength for muddling along with your partner. Be there if you can. He might need you when it comes to consultation etc If you are unable is there a close friend or family member that will support hospital appointments?
I do know a little about this. I had a LAR surgery August 4th My husband was diagnosed Parkinson’s September 26th
But we knew he had all the symptoms. I thought he was cross with me as he was a smiler and it ws gone he had the Parkinson’s mask
Im not saying it’s easy. I put my big pants on a face another day
This my perspective on your situation and I hope it helps. Try and stay well to support your partner and get out together when you can.
Take care
Ann
