Colostomy

Hi Kate64

I had a colostomy bag fitted about 6 weeks ago and at first I couldn't handle it or ever think I could change it myself. It took having an evening of my bag filling up twice within an hour (something I ate obviously) and having to change it myself and shower etc. Through my tears I realised if I could do this I could easily deal with 'normal' fillings.

Please reassure your husband this has happened to everyone of us...more than once in most cases. It is unsettling when it happens and if it is new it can be very scary and unsettling but I promise you/him it does get easier. 

Now every night before bed I've taken to putting a new stoma bag on as I know it is empty and on the few occasions I've had to get up in the night to change it it hasn't leaked.

You have come to the right place for advice and help. Everyone here will help when they can.

One last thing. If you click on our names you will see what we have written about our experiences. It may help your husband to read some of these to again reassure him he is not alone.

I hope this message helps.

Keep in touch and ask as many questions as you want.

Take care and give your husband a hug.

London (David)

Hi. 

I completely understand his feelings. As a relatively young man (53) the thought of a colostomy had me almost in tears. It is worrying initially and he'll find his output a bit erratic at first, at least mine was. Mine also leaked during the night so can relate. The best advice I can give is ensure the pouch is fitted correctly and that his skin is dry before fitting.

Please let him know that he will find it easier to come to terms with and he will find a routine that works best for him, it just takes time. I've had mine for 8 weeks now and it's now just another part of my daily routine.

If he has real concerns it might be good to chat to his stoma nurse. They've seen it all and are amazingly helpful.

Wish him all the best and a welcome to the Stoma gang

Hi Kate64

I'm an Ileostomy so I am slightly different but I’ve had an upsetting leaks and I lacked confidence  
I have had leaks and it’s really distressing and adjusting to the attaching the pouches can be trying. 
It takes at least six weeks for the stoma to form then you can have the pouches cut to the template if you wish. I cut my own through choice. 
I had so much advice here early days it really got me through the process of coming to terms with it all and sorting out the practical side 

Six months on I’m living life better than I did with the cancer. It really dragged the life out of me and I’m so delighted it’s in the bin. 
I wear all my normal clothes eat out and don’t really think about my stoma. 
Keeping a food diet helped me early and I introduced food giving it time to see if I reacted.  
The stoma nurses sorted me with the right products they’re fantastic. They swapped me to convex pouches with a belt  with Eakin rings to help my sore skin. So I would definitely see them if your partner can or phone them. 
I found a way to change my pouches that suited me 
If there’s anything I can help with in the practical side shout out. Also if you click on names you can read people bio. 
Hope things improve. 

Hi Kate64.

I've had my colostomy over 21/2 years now. The best advice I had was to try to stick to mealtimes as regular as possible. For me it seems to work well. As I start work at 7am, I go to bed early. I try to have my last meal at around 5pm. I rarely have to get up to change my pouch during the night. It can be very distressing to have a leak and end up in such a mess that you are in the bath at 3am! It's happened to me, but it's rare.

Take care.

Kim