Mum with bowel cancer

Hi 

Welcome to the forum .

So hard to see your mum go through so much .

Can I just ask was her primary tumour and lymph nodes removed during surgery or are they still in situ? 

The way I processed timescales was to consider them an average with people doing much better on one side of the scale and hoped my mum would be one of them . On this forum we have people defying the stats  over and over again . It can be unpredictable at best and I think most drs would agree that some people just don’t follow the statistics.

We have a helpline 0808 808 0000 and they would be happy to chat through the aspect of dealing with the uncertainties around a prognosis. My own mum had a poor prognosis and I do understand the overwhelming emotions that fill your head . ( she was able to take chemo ) . I had to learn to discipline my very thoughts to stay in each day and keep my mind where my body was . It would say it over and over again to myself . As you can imaging there were many fails but some progress too.

Its not easy at all and we are here to support you and I am glad you have spoken about it .

Take care ,

Court 

Hi Ronnie.

Yes it's so worrying. My Mum was diagnosed with inoperable stage 4 in February 2022 and also has a stoma. I feel like you but try and bat thinking about the future away, and concentrate on the now. What's happening now that we can control and enjoy. Its not easy. 

Take care.

Thank you for your reply, so lovely to hear from others in the same situation.

Mum's tumour is still there, she is adamant that she doesn't want treatment and we have to respect her wishes.  Our GP has already done a drug chart for end of life care and told mum to stick it at the back of her cupboard for now, also she has had a visit from the Clinical Nursing Team who also left details and told her to put it to one side until its needed.  

I feel, although quite selfish, its just the not knowing, when, how, if etc.

Hi Kezzie100

So know what you mean, so trying to concentrate on the present.  Mum doesn't talk about it now she just says when the time comes she will deal with it.  The hospital say within the year, was just looking to others who maybe have been or are in the same situation, all web sites say is % - I am an only one with very little family although my two girls are great.  Some family who live quite a distance away would like to visit mum and keep asking me how long she has?  I get the impression from hospitals, GP and clinical nurse specialists that they think the tumor will grow, the bowel will block and then as mum has chosen no treatment that will be it.  But as I've mentioned mum already has a stoma which over the years gets blocked anyway and unblocks itself - sorry if I'm rattling on I'm really not dealing with the unknown, not that I want to be given a date etc but would like them to scan mum again (but they won't) to see if there is any growth, spread etc.

So very sorry to hear this Ronnie. Sending warm regards.