I'm new and my husband has secondary bowel cancer.

Hi 

Welcome to the forum . I am sorry to hear about your husband . There are certainly people who have experienced very minimal side effects in that they are able to maintain their daily life , work leisure etc . The next group have moderate symptoms but have the intervention of their team to keep things manageable . The third group have more sever symptoms. My mum fell into that group with a few hospital admissions. However I want to share another aspect . Some cycles were tougher than others . The first year she did not speak up as she was desperate for it to work and did not want it reduced . 
However the second year she had a minimal dose reduction that made everything much more tolerable . She was able to go out and about . But did sleep a bit more . So talking to his team and giving them the opportunity to adjust medication is important but can take a cycle or two to sort out .

Knowing who to contact was also important . The GP is also part of the team and able to intervene with some smaller side issues too .

Chemo can be stopped if intolerable at any point . Your husband still has his autonomy.

The other point , whilst my mum was at the rougher end it did an incredible job turning things around . If you click on my user name you can see she had a spread to her liver then her lung .

Not everyone gets that outcome but some do and that’s the hope.

It is very frightening at the beginning but the teams are well experienced at balancing Out the risk/benefits analysis . You will see some stage 4 patients on forums literally using maintenance chemo for six years and enjoying life . My mum was not one of them to be honest but they are out there . It is very individual.

I think it’s important to remember it can be adjusted or stopped at any point . 
Take care ,

Court 

I should also say if you have any questions our helpline team would be happy to chat through this with you .

0808 808 0000

Thank you for this. We had a bad experience yesterday when we supposed to go for a pic line and was totally put off by nurse explaining all the side effects etc. So much so my husband is reconsidering having any treatment. He is asymmetric fit and healthy so harder to start on this treadmill when the outcome is still death.  

That’s a  tough consultation , they have a duty to tell you but it really can be overwhelming. 
Finding a balance on even the level of information can be hard . My mum found herself very conflicted as it all sounded so toxic at the beginning. However it really shrank her tumours and opened up surgical options that were not possible before chemotherapy ! That was by far one of the hardest chats and please reassure him it does get easier and more a case of reporting symptoms and finding solutions after that !

My mum was asymptomatic too and only picked up on a bowel screen . But it really has extended her life all these years later so I hope it does allow him the opportunity to see a positive outcome too !

We have a chemo thread where members have given tips on care through chemo and what they found helpful . Maybe better to get the first one over before reading it but might also be helpful for yourself to prepare .

You can let me know if you would like me to link it in .

He may be one of the fortunate ones that sail through this with very little side effects . We have people still able to exercise.

The other aspect he may find more positive is to look at staying fit through chemotherapy .

https://cdn.macmillan.org.uk/dfsmedia/1a6f23537f7f4519bb0cf14c45b2a629/1656-source/physical-activity?_ga=2.252731597.572095182.1636153207-1308481195.1636153207&_gac=1.207750566.1646687484.EAIaIQobChMIjOXRtPK09gIVUCUrCh13fABhEAAYASAAEgJTtfD_BwE

A lot of research currently on the go to the benefits of exercise, music etc . 
Take care ,

Court 

There is only extension of life and no cure. My husband is very strong physically and we have maintained our life style 7 mile walks, 2 allotments and renovation of our fairly new house. That is why this is such a tough call as it will make him ill, weak etc potentially quite quickly and no cure. Whereas do nothing and take what ever comes without a steep drop off the cliff. 

That was the prognosis my mum was given as she had a significant spread to her liver . She was given palliative chemo .

https://bowelcancerorguk.s3.amazonaws.com/Publications/TreatingAdvancedBowelCancer_BowelCancerUK.pdf

Have you been given this leaflet ?

Your husband sounds very robust . Some people have continued walking /running etc . It is such an unknown at this point until he knows how it affects him and a lot of people struggle with that aspect. He is definitely not alone and it’s understandable. But he sounds very fit already !

I was devastated as my mum and I had just landscaped  her garden and we were literally pushing wheelbarrows around . It’s so hard to believe even at times .But she did get back to a lot of her activities eventually .

Take care ,

Court 

No haven't seen that leaflet and thank you. Yes that was really useful. We are going back to see oncologist again to see what else can be offered. Thank you so much for your help. 

Hello Beth

My husband was diagnosed with secondary bowel cancer a couple of years ago.  At the time the secondary tumors in his lungs were only very small.  He had a port fitted and goes for treatment every fortnight into hospital for a day and has a bottle over the weekend through the port.  He is now back on his first line treatment.  We still do as much as we did before treatment, he still continues to work, albeit from home.  He gets tired following treatment and has had various side effects which have been quite difficult for him to deal with but in the main he is determined to carry on with his "normal" life as long as he can and for almost two years he has done just that.  It depends what treatment your husband has, some treatments don't effect people in the same way .A couple of the treatments my husband stopped because the side effects were too difficult for him to deal with personally.

I completely understand where your head it at, it almost feels like an impossible decision.  In my opinion its better to try if the prognosis is uncertain and stop treatment if necessary.

Best wishes

Karen