Feeling lost

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Hi I’m late coming to this group.   After being treated for haemorrhoids for 3 years(including a wee op) with no cure I finally got a colonoscopy  in Sept 2020.   They found a large polyp which after waiting 10 weeks for diagnosis  they mislaid my file.  
was told it was cancer and an op was needed.    Had a right hemicolectomy in Dec 2020.  Thought it was going to be keyhole but it turned out  to be a large scar.   Anyway I progressed ok took things slowly and recovered well.   Biopsy results was early stage 3 as out of 12 nodes 1 infected.   chemo was offered.   The thought of side effects scared me more than the op.  Started in February on Capacetabine Sp?  Tablets.   Apart from feeling pretty tired and a few urgent toilet issues all was ok.   Was happy not to loose  my hair.  Now 6 mths post chemo had a few niggles and of course every niggle is a panic. But on the whole physically I’m Ok.

But now and the reason  I’m here looking for advice I’m feeling worse than  through the whole episode. ( apart from maybe the initial diagnosis).   I feel absolutely lost, if one more person tell me you have to stay positive  and move on   Any issues I’ve had I’ve been told oh your well past chemo nothing to do with it phone your doctor if your worried.   I know covid has changed things but I don’t feel I have any support hence coming on here.   It’s a daunting time thinking about what the future will be but no one knows that I know.   The other thing I was told I’d have follow up blood tests scan colonoscopy at 6mths but not getting scan till July no word  of camera or blood tests.    I think it’s such a busy time of appointments treatment and then nothing all feels a bit surreal.

Sorry a bitof a ramble but after reading some  of your posts I feel it’s a good place to get support and read your stories. I feel lucky compared to what some of you are going through.

Anyway thanks for reading and hope you are  all having a good day.