Bowel cancer

Hi Brooke Wand welcome to the board. Was your partners tumour removed with clear margins but there is lymph nodes or vascular invasion involved? The worry of the cancer returning is unfortunately always there but diminishes over time. He will be regularly scanned and each clear scan will hopefully lessen the worry. I tried to tell myself that worrying would not change anything. If it did return then I would kick myself for worrying when I could have been trying to get on with my life and, if it didn’t return, then I would kick myself for worrying when I could have been getting on with my life! 
Ive attached a link to a paper which a lot of people have found helpful after treatment finishes - if it feels too soon or you don’t feel ready for this yet then put it under your hat for later.

www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/.../After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

https://bowelcancerorguk.s3.amazonaws.com/Publications/LivingWell_BowelCancerUK.pdf

Does your hospital have a Maggies Centre? They offer support to cancer patients during and after treatment and some hospitals offer follow up sessions where they talk about the benefits of diet, exercise and counselling. 
The support of a loved one is immeasurable during and after treatment. You can encourage him to eat well to get his strength back up and do a little exercise even if it’s just a short walk. I’m sure court will also be along soon to say how she helped support her mum.

Please remember to look after yourself too. Cancer has a way of taking over everyone’s lives and it’s easy to let go of ‘normality’ and let it become all encompassing. Try to find time for yourself - get your nails done, meet friends for a coffee, lie in the bath for an hour with a glass of wine! 

Take care

Karen x

Thank you so much for your caring and helpful words Karen and for the information that you have sent. I will be looking at these links x

Great reply from Kareno62. Welcome from me too .

I think getting informed about treatment is pretty helpful in itself . It means your support can be targeted at their needs .

However I think also finding out how to stay connected to their interest/ friends etc is also very important and helps keeps things manageable. On that front I would find out what their priorities are and how to achieve them safely . We did projects once a week . That way my mum could look back and see what she had achieved. Sometimes she was more the planner and I carried out part of it but it kept things productive and moving forward . Other times it was more of a necessity to deal with side effects and support nutrition /fluid intake. You have a lot of insight and trust your judgement . Be flexible and if they are independent that’s great . I think knowing when to step up is as important as knowing when to pull back . 
Also make time for yourself and your own interests .

Balance is everything.

Court