Scared

felt compelled to reply to this my journey similar, in may i had a ruptured appendix, nothing else noted at this time but despite surgery i was still having pain CT normal as was ultrasound, fast forward  to October had colonoscopy which showed T3 tumour in caecum overlying the appendix orifice. had surgery 13/11/21 ( right hemicolectomy ) no lymph invasion from 19 taken however there was something that made the Histology T3 N1c M0

started chemo yesterday ( 3 months ) CAPOX regime. 

lole your husband i was up one minute and depths of dimpair next, once he knows his regime he will feel better however both macmillan and his cancer team can arrange counselling ask about this when he sees his oncologist.

hope this is useful 

Linda

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/get-help/emotional-help/bupa-counselling-and-emotional-well-being-support

Welcome to the forum  . I have included a link above to give you some information on counselling. If you phone the helpline staff on 0808 808 0000 they will be able to guide you through what’s available in your area .

You are at one of the most difficult aspects but your husband’s prognosis appears favourable from what you are saying . 

https://www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/about-bowel-cancer/diagnosis/staging-and-grading/

This leaflet gives you more information on the staging . However the whole shock of a diagnosis can take time to settle . 

All the very best to you both ,

Court 

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me especially when you are going through as near to the same . I will speak to the oncologist on Tuesday as I didn’t know they would be able to guide me on this , so thank you very much ️. It’s humbling to know what people are going through like yourself and can take the time to support others. It has actually made me feel a whole lot better already. Thank u  whole heartedly and best of wishes to you x 

Court , thank you so much. I’ve gained more from two replies to my message than I have since this all began.

so kind , thank you 

x

So glad to be able to offer support, i don’t open up to friends however found this site great Court who replied also is a wealth of knowledge and a great supporter to all . 

please avoid goggle and so t keep reading stuff on the net it really messes with your head.

my oncologist said 70-80% disease free survival without chemo  and 82-92 with!

my emotions just like your husband up and down but stabilising a bit now! 

i’m happy giving our similarities to have a chat with you or your husband ; have been we offered this before but i feel this ga are so similar ( however we are all different ) but perhaps could prepare you more,let me know if i can help this way. 

anyway stuck in there people who seem to be positive tend to have the better recovery.

let me know if i can help , my day job is a registered nurse.

where  in country are you?

kind regards

linda 

sorry for typos bad glasses and small phone screen x

Linda , that is so kind and so helpful. 
i read you and Courts replies out to my husband and as you can imagine he cried. He didn’t know I had joined this group but after reading your comments and going to the link Court sent and explaining it to him you have no idea and I really mean this how much better you have both made us feel. 
we are in the North East of Scotland so I’m sure different resources apply to different areas. We have been told by My husbands  cancer nurse that it will probably be a pump chemotherapy at home so we are apprehensive but need to Tuesday to come along to find out exactly what is next.. 

thank you

Alex 

Welcome to the forum. You are starting the journey I started with my husband a year ago.  It’s quite shocking at first and then becomes a normal part of your life.  First, in terms of support for your husband, Macmillan are brilliant.  He had some chats with the on-call nurses in his first few weeks after diagnosis and they were wonderful.  Second, keep reading up and getting advice about how you can both cope.  I can see you are both trying to stay optimistic and positive.  There is good reason for strong hope as bowel cancer can have very good chance of positive outcomes.  Still it is very scary and it is ok to accept and feel and express that fear.  My husband gets annoyed with his sister who is upbeat all the time - to him it just feels like she doesn’t get it.  I know she probably thinks she is helping by acting positive.  But I think it’s best to mirror the feelings of the patient, with just a bit more positivity.  It’s important to listen and sympathise, give a little hope without brushing past the reality of the downside risk.  My husband wanted from me to know that I was staunchly with him and ready to support on everything he was going through.  I tried not to show him my tears too much and it surprised me when I was out at the supermarket away from him for the first time in weeks and suddenly was crying. I guess I held it in that long.  Being a carer is really hard in all kinds of ways- the patient can turn angry and bitter too.  Consider joining the carers forum too, to help you with what you will be going through.  All best wishes.

Hi 

I am around the North East coast sometimes and notice when people talk about their hospital care it seems to take a bit longer on getting the details of care plans to patients . However after that all seems good but it does creat more anxiety if you are not informed properly.

Glad it was able to help you and your husband , knowing the staging is really important. Gives a bit of direction going forward. 
Take care ,

Court 

Juppy

thank you so much. This forum alone has been an enormous help within itself it really has . I know what you mean about holding it all in and then letting it all go for example in the supermarket I have done and carry on to do exactly the same . I am going to ring today the line that Court gave me the number  for regarding some counselling for my husband because he is really struggling . I can’t get him out of bed today and he’s very emotional. Tomorrow is his first appointment since his op with his oncologist to discuss his chemotherapy so maybe it’s playing on his mind a bit much. 
I am so grateful for your reply and for reaching out especially with what you are both going through. I wish you nothing but best wishes and positivity going forward . 

Alex x