The next step…

FormerMember over 3 years ago

6 replies
172 subscribers
1279 views

Hello

My name is Anna (33) and my now husband (40) was diagnosed with colon rectal cancer in February 2021. It’s been a wild year and honestly I thought my wedding postponement from May 2020 would send me over. Sadly, I was wrong this C word really took the biscuit for me. After successful chemo and radiotherapy. Getting married on the 6th November 2021 and a planned reversible ileostomy done on the 13th November (I know literally a week after we got married). I can say we are successfully over the “hard part”, surely it gets easier now.

My post is for the new comers (even though I still feel quite new here because I never post) and hopefully send some positivity out that we do get through it. I did take up one to one counselling sessions, which was my saving grace. I don’t know why I waited, probably because I thought I could deal with it. Honestly, get those sessions in if you need them. The clarity I got from those was amazing.

So now to my question, I know it’s too soon to think ahead of having children in these crazy times but we have already postponed from our 2020 wedding and yes the number one priority is that my husband is as brand new as he can be especially after what his body has gone through. It just got me thinking, has anyone else gone through the route of ICSI treatment or did you try the “natural way”. Also, how long was you recommended to wait. We did have supplies frozen before the chemo started and have filled out all the necessary paperwork for the next steps, just need a GP referral.

In all this craziness I do feel very alone and I hope there are some inspirational stories and experiences that will be able to help me navigate or get an idea.

Thank you all and wishing you a wonderful evening

Anna x

Kareno62 over 3 years ago

Hi Anna and welcome to the board. What a year! Huge congratulations on all your achievements - getting married, supporting your hubby through cancer treatment and a reversal - tough times. Glad the counselling helped and Thankyou so much for sharing your thoughts and experience of it.

I can’t help on the baby front and I think you might want to discuss this with your medical team? On page 24 of the booklet below it recommends using contraception for at least a year after finishing chemoradiotherapy.

https://bowelcancerorguk.s3.amazonaws.com/Publications/YoungPersonsGuide_BowelCancerUK.pdf

If you want to have a chat with the nurses on here about it they are available 7 days a week from 8-8 on 0808 808 00 00

Take care

Karen x

Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

FormerMember over 3 years ago in reply to Kareno62

Thank you Karen for the well wishes. It’s definitely been a year

We have a call with my hubby’s Macmillan nurse on Monday so hopefully she will be able to guide us into the next steps.

court over 3 years ago

What a brilliant post and I love your endorsement of getting the right help to strengthen you through this stage in your life too!

You might want to phone our helpline staff about the clinical support around having a baby as I think there is support and guidance out there . I am not familiar with it but I think I read a post once about it .

0808 808 0000.
Having been here for over ten years I have had the privilege to read about babies been born post treatment .

I completely agree that a sense of isolation does surround a diagnosis and hope with time that lessens for you .

It is also great to see you posting on the forum . We have quite a few silent readers which is fine as well , but it is so encouraging when people join in .

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/impacts-of-cancer/fertility-in-men-after-treatment
Just wondered if you have seen some of the support agencies in this document.

Take care ,

Court

Helpline Number 0808 808 0000

Twinkles07 over 3 years ago

Hi Anna! Congratulations for your marriage, I can definitely relate what you went through re wedding and shock news of C!. As postponed my wedding in July 2020 for 2021 due to my mums and grandad’s unexpected death and covid, my hubby was diagnosed on 23/12/20 as a stage 4, worst Xmas gift as had emergency surgery on 9/12/20 - I was already pregnant (surprise baby born feb 21) but we have done the same thing as you did, frozen his swimmers. How is your husband getting on these days? X p.s you’re not alone in this. Xx

FormerMember over 3 years ago in reply to Twinkles07

Thank you soo much for your post. It means a lot although it's terrible that someone else in our age group is going through this. Congratulations on your baby, soon it will be their first birthday ?I am sorry to hear he was diagnosed just before Christmas. Ours was on Valentine's Day ( well that's when he knew after he had his colonoscopy and saw it on the screen) little bastard! Hope you had The wedding of your dreams, we definitely danced the night away and forgot about all the horrible stuff for the weekend Husband is doing very well, he has his ileostomy in for about 3 months and then reversal time. We are looking forward to our honeymoon at the tail end of 2022, once we can put this all behind us and focus on the good stuff.

We had a meeting with the surgeon at the hospital last night for his pathology report and general check up (post 1 month op) and it was excellent news. No further spread and the tumor was classed as T2N1A. All in all the approach of chemo and chemo radio (although aggressive) was a good result.

I think the baby making part needs to be put on hold for now as I feel like we missed out on a year but I cannot wait to go on that journey. I did call the clinic (Agora, Hove) and they gave me specific instructions on what to do if I want to get the ball rolling.

For now he is under surveillance and will be for the next 5 years. Feeling hopeful and positive.

FormerMember over 3 years ago in reply to court

I am a silent reader for sure but I feel like I spent a lot of time away from the group. I do feel like sharing my information (even though it is more from a partner's point of view) might help somebody to get the help they need.

It is positive to know that there are individuals who go on to have children, not a major priority right now but it feels nice to know that it will or can happen.

Really admire what everyone does at Macmillan and how well it all works together.

Thank you and have a wonderful evening x