Uncontollable tears, anyone else?

Hi Catasski, what you’re going through is very normal .  When I was going through treatment I just wanted to get it over and done with so just kind of ploughed through . You’re coming to the end and it’s an emotional time . It wasn’t until after my treatment it hit me what I had been through and had a bit of a break down . My colorectal nurse put me in touch with a cancer clinical psychologist who helped me process what I’d gone through . A year on I still get teary ( especially with the cancer ads) but I’m slowly getting better . Have a cry if you need to . Sending a gentle hug and all the best for the rest of your treatment XX

Hi Catsski,

What you are going through is very normal as NellyB says. You’ve been through a lot over the last few months and it takes its toll, even when you have amazing support.

You were probably geared up to getting through your treatment with an end date of October – a focus point, then it changes and you have to carry on for a few more months and it seems like a huge hurdle. I’m sure you’ve been looking forward to that day when your chemo finishes (albeit that brings different worries) and now it’s going to go on into the new year. I remember feeling similar, first when I found out I needed chemotherapy and then when it dragged on longer than the end date I had set in my head.

Sometimes it all gets a bit too much and feels like the battle is too big and you haven’t the energy anymore. Chemotherapy is very tiring and leaves little energy left for anything else, so it often doesn’t take much to tip us over the edge. But tomorrow is another day and you will get through this ‘blip’ a day at a time. Be gentle on yourself – nothing wrong with crying it can be a good release - you are doing really well and we’re here to help you through the next few months.

Sending you a big hug.

Nett77x

Hi Catsski

im new to the forums but have already found it re-assuring that this is all perfectly ‘normal’ for what we’re going through. I’ve always been a fairly emotional man - not afraid to let me feelings show but I’ve defo been more emotional under chemo. And mine was fairly straight forward until the last week or so. 

This week I’ve cried at posts I’ve done on Twitter, texts I’ve sent to mum about my dad who died 8 years ago. 
yeaterday I was angry and googled it and found the macmillian link which said it’s normally to feel anger, frustration and be emotional. 

For the first 3 weeks or so of chemo-radio I was all very positive and fairly upbeat. The last two weeks have for hard and when you think about it, that’s perfectly reasonable. Just know you are NOT alone and there are people to talk it though here and in ‘real life’. 

Hi Catsski..It's still happening to me and I had my reversal done .I'm Feb  Sometimes it has no reason for it to happen.One of my Bowel nurses told me that underneath everything we're all like children with toys They take your favourite toy  away and give you a new one (Stoma)  Play with that .then the same things happen again ( reversal)..I feel lost  sometimes .

You will get through this .All the tears and anger will go  .All the best . Big hugs from me   Alaine

Hello Nelly,

Thank you for replying so quickly. Sorry to hear that you had bit of a breakdown and pleased that you had help from a  clinical psychologist/  

Thank you for your reassuring message. As I said I just find myself crying for no reason and have no control whatsoever! I also cry at every cancer advert. I just feel so sorry for my husband who has to cope with me...

Thank you for your good wishes, very much appreciated.

 Catsski x

Hello Nett77,

I think you may have hit the nail on the head,  having to cope with another three months. I was geared up for ending in October, but now that October has gone and the thought of another three months is probably the problem.

In January it will be a year since I first became poorly plus  having lost almost a year to Covid 19 Lock Down, I feel I have lost two years of my life so prolonging the treatment is just agony. I never thought I would not cope as I have been so positive about everything. So I have probably been pushed over my limit.

Thank you so much for pointing this out to me. I think I need to have a huge crying session and get it over  and done as well as to  realise that I am not alone as many will be experiencing the same as me.

 Thank you so much.

 Hugs Catsski x

Hello Geeker,

Thank you so much for reassuring me that I am not alone. I know that I am emotional person  but thought that I was so positive and coping so well until this week!  I  know that I cry when I see the cancer adverts and such like, but this crying for seemingly no reason  makes me feel like a martini  , 'any time, anyplace, anywhere! ', no reason or trigger is  hard to cope with...

 I need to get a grip and be the usual positive person that I thought I was. I haven't felt anger or frustration. I suppose it is the disappointment of the extended treatment time thinking it would all be over this year. The prolonging of treatment is the cause.

 Thank you so very much for taking the time and trouble to reply and  to  help sort me out.

 Hugs

 Catsski x

Hello Alaine,

Thank you so much,  I am being silly, I think that all the posts have reassured me  and made me realise that I am behaving like spoilt brat . It is myself who is  making a big deal out of the  time extension. I have to get over it and get on with it. It is not forever. I have been so positive and dealt with all that has been thrown at me,so what is the big deal about another three months? 

 I can do this, I will do this without the unnecessary crying and self pity!

Thank you for your understanding and setting me straight. 

All the replies have brought me to my senses.

 Many thanks and hugs.

 Catsski x

You cry anytime your. aloud  My husband  said I was just like that I also  swore like a trooper A thing I never did  that stopped   But you go for it..Take care of yourself for a change. Alaine

At the start of me treatment someone said to me that people will tell you to be positive - but that can be exhausting! He said hope was a better emotion and there is always hope. He went through his young daughter having a brain tumour so had some good advice. 

I think we all thing we’re being a bit silly at times or need to ‘sort ourself out’. I’ve told myself out loud to ‘man up’ a few times! But really it’s tough for everyone involved. And especially partners and carers. 

keep us updated and keep chatting (it really helps me to talk to people tbh!)