My wife just diagnosed

Hi David so sorry to hear about your wife, I’m 51 and was diagnosed with a 5cm tumour on Saturday after my colonoscopy, I honestly thought I had Crohns or colitis! 

Ive now had blood tests and am waiting to hear when my CT and MRI scans are, I honestly think the waiting is the hardest part, I just want to know and started 

I haven’t get told my parents ( mum has cancer ) or my 3 adult children yet as they’ve all been through so much with my mum, but I will soon, I was just hoping to get more answers for them first 

I have found connecting with people on here and the Facebook group a great help and I’m hoping you will too. There are a lot of positive stories that have been shared and I find that very comforting 

We all have to stay strong and know we can do this! 

Michelle x 

Hi  and a warm welcome to the board from me. Yes I think I can vouch for us all when I say we can remember the early days of dread, dazed, denial etc. I didn’t know anyone else who’d had bowel cancer so this board was a lifeline for me. 

This first couple of weeks waiting for scan results, meetings etc. Is very stressful but things will honestly feel a bit better once you have a treatment plan in place. I shall give you my usual advice which is to stay away from google - there is a lot of out of date, misleading and sometimes scary information - stay on here and the bowel cancer uk board.

Once all the scan results are in then your wife will be discussed at the MDT (multi disciplinary team) meeting where the consultants who will be involved in her treatment will agree on a plan. They will then meet with you to discuss this. Rectal tumours are often treated with chemoradiotherapy first as this shrinks the tumour and allows the surgeon to remove it with clear margins. The tumour and surrounding area is then sent off for testing.

Size does not matter! A large tumour is not necessarily more serious than a small one. The scans will give the consultant an idea of the ‘staging” which is defined by how far the tumour has grown in to the bowel wall and whether they suspect any lymph nodes are affected.

Bowel cancer is notoriously slow growing but very treatable. I had a 4cm tumour which was 9cm from the anal verge and shrank to 1cm after chemoradiotherapy. If you click on my profile then you can see my story so far - ignore the couple of hiccups I had along the way! I was diagnosed in 2016 and I’m still cancer free as are my 2 friends that I met along the way.

I’ve attached a link to a booklet that I was given at my first meeting. Some people like a heads up as to what to expect and some people prefer to just know what they need to know (my hubby!) but it’s here if you need it

https://bowelcancerorguk.s3.amazonaws.com/Publications/YourPathway_BowelCancerUK.pdf

The next few months will be tough mentally and physically but we’ll be happy to help and support you all through this. Feel free to ask about anything you want - there is nothing too daft or embarrassing on here

Take care

Karen x

Hi 

Welcome from me too and we hope to offer the same welcome to your wife and your son if appropriate in the near future !

I do hope we can offer you all a safe place to land as you navigate through these early confusing days ! It does in deed get much better when a treatment plan is pulled together and a light shone on the way forward !

Sorry to hear your son has his own health issues ! Do forums work for him as he is very welcome to join ?  We have a carers section if that’s of any use !

Take special care ,

Court 

Welcome David,

I remember the turmoil and agonising wait for the treatment plan.  Just take one day at a time.

This is an amazing place to gather help,advice and support .

with best wishes

ArtsieAnn

Hi David, 

My first post here as I have just joined. My husband, 55, has just been diagnosed with T3. He had emergency surgery to remove the 3cm tumour. He thought he had constipation. All new to us, we have two girls, 19 & 14, they do not know the extent of this yet. I’m learning about this like you so happy to listen if you need it? My husband will have 6 months chemo as we have the biopsy results back now. It’s overwhelming but the most important thing is that it’s been discovered and being treated. I’m feeling so tired and overwhelmed, being a carer is so hard. Can anyone else support you? Family or siblings? Sending hugs! 

Hi  and a warm welcome to the board from me. Although I was the patient I could see how everything affected my husband from the worry, fear, future and then travelling to visit me in hospital after a long days work and drive home, making his own tea and trying to run a home. Cancer affects you both mentally and physically and has a ripple effect through to the people around you.

It is good that the cancer has been removed and the chemo will be the belt and braces. If you know what chemo he’ll be having then I may be able to link you into some handy tips.

Its very easy to let cancer take over your lives but it’s important to look after yourself too so you can support your husband and daughters. Try and find time for yourself even if it’s just meeting a friend for coffee, having a manicure, going for a walk. 

The next few months will be tough but we’ll be happy to help and support you through this. There is a carer board too if you want to have a look?

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/carers-only-forum

Take care

Karen x

Thank you so much! This board has already been such a help!