Recently Diagnosed Parent - my experience & how am I meant to feel?

Hi 

Welcome to the forum ! You have captured in detail that dreadful moment when you realise you have to dig deep , appear calm in the face of uncertainty and mounting anxiety!

I think the entire forum would agree this is one of the most taxing times between diagnosis and treatment plan ! As they gather the required information to get the correct plan for your mum it really does cause every emotion to surface . However we are here for you and I am glad you joined and expressed your experience with such clarity !

You will continue to to provide that foundation to assist your family through the next few weeks despite your own emotions ! But I thoroughly recommend getting a quite place to let it all out for your own well being ! That’s why I am so pleased you found us !

Once the scanning is complete and a bit more information is known about the cell type your mum’s case will go to a Multi Disciplinary meeting where they get their minds together to come up with the best plan for her !

The thing to remember Bowel cancer caught early is very treatable! My own mum was picked up on a bowel screen , not caught early despite no symptoms and is still here 12 years later thanks to her team !

When you know a bit more information we can share tips to help your mum navigate through this chapter in her life ! My own mum was 67 and despite a lot of intervention has tolerated it well !

It is an awful position you were in telling your dad and siblings ! That’s not easy at all but it sounds as though you communicated very well and as best you could in the circumstances you found yourself !

We are here to support you as you in turn reach out to support them !

Send your mum and family our love and best wishes for quick intervention and return her to her life with cancer firmly in the rear view mirror !

Take care ,

Court 

Hi  and a warm welcome to the board from me. Yes I remember the day I was told all too well. Despite having seen something ‘not too good’ while I was watching on the screen and even when they took my husband and me into the room together I assumed it was to discuss the results. We left the hospital with my husband close to tears and me just feeling numb and suggesting we go tell my parents. I then sat on the patio with a glass of wine while my husband phoned his family - sounds ridiculous now!

I see Court has popped in too while I’m typing so I’ll not not to duplicate anything shes said. The first couple of weeks waiting for scans, meetings etc. are very stressful but once there is a treatment plan in place then things will honestly feel a bit better. Please stay away from google! It is out of date, misleading and downright scary in places - stay on here and the bowel cancer uk board and you can ask anything you like - there is nothing too daft or embarrassing. 

I nominated a family member to be point of contact for updates so my hubby wasn’t having to take numerous phone calls and set up a WhatsApp group so I could update friends ‘in bulk’.

Bowel cancer is very treatable - I was diagnosed in 2016 and became friends with 2 ladies off the bowel cancer uk board who were diagnosed at the same time and we’re all cancer free.

The next few months will be tough both mentally and physically but it is doable and we’ll be happy to help and support you through this 

Take care

Karen x

Hi just wanted to reach out and to tell you I know how you and your mum are feeling, I’m 51 and had my colonoscopy yesterday, my husband wasn’t allowed in with me so went home and waited for a call to pick me up… when they said can you ask your husband to come in for the results I knew what they were going to say! 

I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus and haven’t told my 3 adult children or mum as yet until I’m told what my plan of action is, I like you are normally the family fixer, going through my mums lung and breast cancer, helping the kids but now I need to concentrate on fixing myself 

I also found writing it down on this site a help and reading everyone’s replies to me, it makes you feel you are not alone as everyone knows how you are feeling 

I’m having my bloods done tomorrow and then hopefully will hear when my MRI and CT scan is and I hope you hear very soon so you can also get your plans together 

take care Michelle.x 

Well done, , for capturing the moment so well, not that anyone wants to hear the news, but it proves we are all in the same boat on diagnosis and it is so difficult to take in and process. Wishing you all the best, ((hugs))

Hello - sorry to learn about your mum, I know first hand how hard it is to 'get your head around' receiving news like that and I echo your praise of the NHS.

I'm now in the first month after the maximum use-by date that I was given two years ago. I'm fine, all things being relative. I take an assortment of twelve pills every day but I now have a big breakfast and go for a two mile walk every day. At one stage all I wanted to do was lie down all day and eat nothing. Hardly surprisingly I lost, but have since regained, a lot of weight.

I won't pretend I'm not worried about my latest CT scan results that I will get next Wednesday but I'm better prepared than I was when I was first given the bad news.

Tell your mum that she's got the support of all but that she has to do her bit too, and don't hesitate to tell your consultant/Oncologist of anything that concerns you. If I had listened to my own advice about three months ago I wouldn't have had to spend a week in hospital with a painful blockage.

If you hear the Fat Lady singing,  shoot the bitch.

Chin up,  mum.