Scared myself silly

Hi Bud 18

Remember you asked your oncologist this very question ? 
Bone mets have previously not featured much on bowel cancer forums  but my understanding it’s something we are going to see more frequently as long term management of stage 4 patients becomes progressively more successful. You would be better looking at the stage 4 bone met management on the  secondary breast  cancer forum and see how the oncologists deal with it there ! They are ahead of us in this regard !

Not  lost cause , a chronic condition they are currently planning to manage for you !

The problem with googling you can’t look at it in isolation and draw a parallel with your own disease and spread ! Someone may have been chemo resistant that developed bone mets but that’s not your case so the outcome could potentially go in a very different direction ! Their cell type could be very different and their spread significantly larger . How you respond to treatment is just as important as location !

Its ok to have googled yourself silly as we have all done that and a terrifying experience it is . We then need to unpack it back into a more manageable form , be very kind to ourselves as we are only human and we’re trying to find answers to a difficult situation. Wee tip stick “ successful stories “ in front of your next Google search ! It has a much better impact on our emotional well-being and probably closer to what we were trying to achieve when you went down the “ Google hole “ in the first place !

Nice recovery cup of tea and slice of cake is required and best foot forward to successful treatment ! 

Take special care ,

Court 

Ohhh Court, thankyou I much better being around people and working keep my mind busy, I will have a look on the other page. 

I think when I had meeting last Thursday it was with radiologist he seemed more vague about treatment, I just heard the not so good stuff like May be not cure able, may not respond to chemo then side effects of chemo, I zoned out then xxxx

Thankyou so much for replying

Cup of tea is my answer to everything

Hi Bud, I can only say I’ve done the same thing, google google google. I think I m looking for the positive, then I think am I trying to accept having cancer. Am I building a wall around myself and think I know more than the doctors? I see the surgeon on Thursday. The mri my doctor ordered for me is Wednesday, still worrying  about my back and leg although it has improved but still in the background. I won’t  leave nothing to chance. Ive got myself so anxious I’ve ended up in a & e. I keep pressing my stomach to see if there is pain. I keep changing  my mind, it’s like I’ve got a pantomime in my head, o yes it is, oh no it s not. My mind will not rest, I feel like I’m mentally exhausted. Like I’ve said before I just want the antidepressants to kick in. Its like I’m not allowed to stop thinking about cancer. I had chemo tablets before not Iv. So I know the worry. I hope we both get sorted out soon, I just think the mental anguish is like a stand alone illness. The waiting game is awful. Love & kindness to us all. I’ve really cut down on google it really isn’t given me the answers what ever way I phrase the questions. Nelly55 xx sending hugs

The internet will.create more suffering as it did for me. I found I was trying to.reassure myself but would always.find that bad scenario case. I still surf but its more about MIND stuff. In my case, ACCEPTANCE of whatever is, uncertainty. If I look to the future now, I get ' eaten' by sharkes.  Ive had to accept that LIFE is uncertain.... But then it always was. All the while we scare ourselves, we are losing precious time called NOW.

That’s a good approach Tony , focusing more on aspects that enhance your well being ! My mum almost cocooned herself the first year so she could focus purely on that . The second year she was able to push that out a bit more and was more integrated. Each approach did meet her needs in different ways !

Take care ,

Courtv

Distraction therapy is a wonderful thing Bud 18 . It is a strange thing and I am absolutely sure the medics do not mean anything at all but patients can hang not only every word but tone and expressions also ! My husband was amazed at some of the small details I was over interpreting! That thankfully stopped with time but I think it’s just heightened anxiety!

Take care ,

Court

Taken your advice Tony been looking on Mind I need to re focus and look forwards and take treatment offered and just get on with it.i agree with court I take note of voice expressions everything even eye contact. 

No more google as like you Tony I only ever find bad stuff, I a big over thinker xxxx

Thankyou