Recent diagnosis

we are in the same situation.  my husband had a colonoscopy. and was told the same . he has had his CT scan,and we are now waiting for the MDT meeting to find out ,what surgery he will be having.  

I personally am in a bit of a state , my husband doesn't talk about too much . I suggest you talk about your feelings.  and as much as you need to . I do hope you have lots of support around you . 

I hope they explained everything to you and gave you a number to ring if you have any questions.  they did us.  we have been shocked how long the CT scan results have been taking.  its took longer than we was told which has caused more stress and worry . sending you much love 

I am so sorry to her about your husband. He will probably be feeling the way that I am, but it is harder for men to open up. My husband hasn’t told anyone yet as the words seem to hard to get out. 
I was told that my CT Scan results would take 5 days to come back and they will be discussed at a meeting then I will be phoned to come in. I hope they don’t take too long. 
I suppose it depends where you live. I am in Dundee, so it is Ninewells/Perth I have to use. I was worried about turn-around time due to covid, but I have been assured that won’t affect my op plans at all (once I know what they are).

Oh Straw! I was diagnosed October 2020 and like you was terrified amd so frustrated with waiting for scans and meeting decisions - I just wanted them to get the damn thing out of me.  

Have you got a specialist colorectal nurse/team to talk to? If so get in touch with them they're brilliant.

The good news is bowel/ rectal cancer is very common and very treatable - who knew!  A treatment plan will be decided once the professionals have seen your scans and the options are many depending on the cancer and your personal circumstances.

There are no doubt some tough times ahead but it will get easier. 

As for telling your family and kids, this is a tough one as you will no doubt be faced with lots of, and some pointless and unhelpful, questions and to some extent managing their distress. 

You might want to wait until you have the results of the scans before telling everyone as you will be able to give them a fuller picture which will reduce their questions and anxieties.

As for the kids, I have 20 years experience working with children and I would say honesty is the best policy and try and get some specific support from Macmillan around this.

My kids are in their 20s but my brother was very honest with my 8 year old nephew. He told him I had cancer in my bum and I was going to have lots of medicine and an op. To get rid of it. My nephew kindly offered to build me a new bum out of some wood he had in the garage if I needed it. He would even paint it pink like real bum if I wanted!

Believe me kids are more resillient than you think - they might just need some extra support to help understand and someone outside of the family to discuss their fears with as they might bottle this up amd not want to discuss things with you for fear of upsetting you. Let their schools know the situation as they will be able to support your kids and even arrange counselling.

Talking about it gets easier, I promise and the more you open up the easier it seems to get. Most people you tell will know someone whose  had and survived bowel cancer!

Good luck with your treatment, take the rough with the smooth, try and stay positive but accept there will be bad days. You will get through this!

Hope this has helped.

Take Care 

Melly

we are different  areas  . so I am sure they will do as they said.  Sad to hear also your husband doesnt say a lot . I am sure he is there for you though to support you , it must be so hard . hope they have told you its treatable.  And early stages . I will keep everything crossed for you . I  know my husband is scared but I think he thinks if he doesn't talk about it .then it's not happening,  he hasn't even told his sister and brother,  they don't live in the same area as us . and mainly speak on the phone . he seems to be avoiding phoning them . how are your children taking the news ? ours are grown up with there  own children.  

if you ever want just a chat on how you are feeling.  I am here . xxx 

That is such a good post Melly73. I’ve attached a link to the Macmillan page but I think you’ve covered it all! x

www.macmillan.org.uk/.../talking-to-children-and-teenagers

Thanks Karen. Its all about supporting each other isn't  it. I only joined the group yesterday after a not so good day and feel so much better after hearing other's experiences,getting tips and knowng others are having similar problems.

Yake care Mellyx 

Was in exactly the same situation 3 months ago.  I had surgery 1 month ago, and am waiting for chemotherapy ... meeting with oncologists is on 6 September.  It's not easy ... I was very worried about the surgery and what would happen, but the surgeons were wonderful and managed to remove the tumour.  I also had a hysterectomy and appendectomy ... so pretty major surgery.  There's no point in telling you not to worry - it's a natural human reaction - but stay strong and talk to someone.  I was up front with my children (aged 26 and 22), but I guess I sheltered them from my worries and put a positive face on everthing.