Welcome sorry to hear your mum is having a tough time with chemo !
It is not easy to see them struggle and not be able to change it for them . Has she been able to communicate to her team ? They are able to make adjustments to make it more tolerable. My own mum had her dose reduced just a little but enough to reduce the most bothersome side effects.
Send your mum our love and hope she picks up soon . We also have a helpline 0808 808 0000 if you ever want to chat anything through with them .
Thanks for the quick reply Court. Mum's second chemo session is within the next week and her consultant has reduced the dose and also prescribed some anti histamines (Piriton) to be given before the infusion to prevent the hot sweats she experienced which caused them to stop the infusion wait and restart it.
Mum is very proud and seems to not want to be a burden or bother me, when I stay overnight, she doesn't wake me if she's feeling ill, or sick she just gets on with it. Leaving me to wonder why I actually stay overnight when all I am offering is the reassurance that someone else is in the house with her.
I am torn, between assisting and leaving her with some autonomy, also torn between being there physically and being available from my home 1hour away.
It takes a toll on other family members also, which makes other relationships strained.
I feel low and emotional atm, and guilty if I do anything for myself such as taking time out. Any advice how I can address this and not feel so low as I am already on anti-depressants so don't feel medication will be an answer?
I would be inclined to ask her if this reduction worked would she want to contact you at home for help rather than stay overnight . Finding the right balance is really important to sustain this over the long term . You might like to chat it through with our helpline staff as they might have tips on how to put some safeguards in that would work for you both. 0808 808 0000.
You will be of better support to her if you take some time to yourself to do what keeps the balances correct in your own life . It’s perfectly reasonable to meet friends and enjoy their company and still have concern and compassion for your mum . I would not have survived this process without striking a balance . There is also a carers forum for relatives in the site and it might assist you to see others approaches and give you some tips going forward .
