Chemotherapy rollercoaster

Hi @rosiegirl and congrats on nearing the end of your chemo. It’s a strange feeling isn’t it? My treatment was stopped 1 session short and, instead of feeling elated, I felt strangely flat. The oncologist told me she didn’t want to see me again snd I trudged home - my mum thought it was bad news as I sounded so down when I rang her! 
As daft as it sounds my cancer treatment had become a sort of new norm. I was never more than a week away from seeing a nurse during my chemo so there was always someone to check with if i had any niggles - it felt like my comfort blanket had been taken away.

We’ve experienced times like never before with the pandemic and you’ve probably had to stay in a very small bubble while protecting yourself during treatment so you’re bound to feel anxious about getting out and about again. Although the weight gain is probably frustrating I’m sure it will come back off quickly as your taste buds resume and you are able to get out for short walks and exercise. Take things slowly at first as the neuropathy and fatigue may take a while to wear off and, if you feel up to venturing to the supermarket, do it in a quiet day. 

If you feel like your mood isn’t improving then ring your GP for a chat and see if they can help and don’t forget you can always ring the nurses on here too on 0808 808 00 00

Lastly I’ve attached a link to a leaflet about Life after cancer which a lot of people have found helpful. Have a read and, if it’s too soon, then pop it in your back pocket and keep it for a bit later. 
https://www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

You sound to have done really well so far so treat yourself to something nice to celebrate your last tablet and give yourself a huge pat on the back

Take care

Karen x

Hi Karen,

 Thanks for such a helpful reply; the booklet you sent is so helpful, it resonates totally with where I'm at! 

It must have been hard finishing your treatment early; it must have felt such an anticlimax. We each have our own story but in reality the themes are the same; it's just working through it all and trying not to lose yourself when your feeling so rubbish. Thanks so much for replying, it's really helped; hope things going well for you x Rosiegirl

Hi rosiegirl, 

l’m so glad you are coming to an end of your chemo! I know what you mean about shielding & isolating & feeling unfit! I have seen practically no one but my partner & the hospital staff since before Christmas (not as long as you so I can only imagine how tough that is!) & have only been able to manage a 5 or 10 minute walk at the very most throughout mine..  So it will take a while to build myself up again! (Physically, mentally & socially) 

I found the CAPOX combo has made me very emotional at times & inexplicably down also at times because my outlook is very good & this should be reason to celebrate (which I am also doing) & not feel down...

I just keep telling myself ‘this too shall pass’ & that it is temporary & not forever

THE END IS IN SIGHT  

Wishing you all the best with the rest of your treatment.

Suzy 

Hi Suzi,

Thanks for replying, good to hear your outlook is good! I used to walk around 3/4 mile each day with my dogs; a week after treatment I barely move & after that I can only manage a short walk some days, my stamina is just not there. I'm a bit breathless too, do you find that?

My tumour markers came back normal the other day, but my feeling of happiness was short lived. The treatment drags you down so much, I suppose its only natural to be constantly battling low mood & emotions.

 I would love to get back to swimming, but I think the risk of infection is probably too much & I'm sure I would have to buy a new swimsuit in a much larger size ...... & also the indignity of leaving the changing room with a body which you don't recognise!

 But your right, this will pass & I will keep telling myself that!

How many more treatments do you have? How's your Neuropathy?

Xx Rosiegirl

Yes!

I was breathless too (mostly on round 1 & 2) & felt like my tubes were actually sore, chest & lungs too & generally just exhausted & feeling like ready to keel over! Rounds 3 & 4 weren’t as bad because they slowed down my infusion over 4 hours (instead of 2) & reduced the dose slightly! Still fit for nothing though! I am going to get back to my walking once treatment stops.

4 rounds in total for me & my final day of tablets is TOMORROW!

I know this may sound silly but I’m setting the alarm EARLY so I can start early finish early on my final day!!
Suzy 

Suzi,

You should be so proud of yourself, its incredibly hard & unless you've been through it you don't know how hard! No more pink bullets, you do right to get up early to finish them! Good luck for the coming weeks, try to pace yourself, that way your not disappointed as I suppose it will take time

Xx Rosiegirl

No more pink bullets!! You’re so right!! 

 I forgot to say the neuropathy has really ramped it up on this final round!

I’m really hoping this dies down as I need my touch sensation in my hands for when I DO return to work!....

Suzi, 

I had a delay in my treatment of three weeks after my 5th cycle and the Neuropathy seemed to improve; I'm sure it will improve! My job is also very hand focused so I'm hoping mine improves too. Enjoy your moment tommorow I'll be thinking of you xx Rosiegirl

Thank you!

we’re planning a champagne & caviar celebration  party for a few weeks time when I (hopefully) get some taste back! 
sounds wild fancy & ive never even tasted caviar!

Oh that’s a good sign your neuropathy improved during the break! Long may THAT continue!

Suzy