Hi
I had a colonoscopy on Friday and found it so painful. They asked if I wanted them to stop! I continued with gas and air and felt like I was a being a big baby but got finished. They took 9 biopsies and put in 2 tattoo ink markers. She then finished and while I was still laid on the table came to the front and took my hand and said she was sorry but it was very bad news and that I had a very large tumour. I'm 58 and feel my time is up. I'm so hoping they can do something but I know I've had this for years because the pain in my side started about 9 years ago and after a hysterectomy I had an umbilical hernia and put it down to that. I even had an ultrasound which obviously just showed the hernia. I've never had my full bloods taken and get a yearly blood test for my thyroid but I was going to start some new medication and had bloods taken which showed iron deficiency anemia and that was what sent me for a gastrocopy and colonoscopy. At 4am this morning I had a panic attack and started crying. My husband made a cup of tea and then after some crying from both of us I'm talking like its all over and about him carrying on without me and living his life. I feel so bad and can't shake the gut feeling I'm screwed. Is this a normal reaction to being told this news. I wish they had waited and told me with my husband but just they just wheeled me back to the ward sobbing. Does thinking positive come after the shock or does the feeling of it being too late stay with you. I've had a cough for years and now thinking its in my lungs. I have to wait for a CT scan and have more bloods taken. I'm rambling sorry just feel so scared.
