Dad advanced bowel cancer

FormerMember
FormerMember
  • 2 replies
  • 175 subscribers
  • 624 views

Hi all,

My dad became unwell October last year where he had a cough and shortness of breath which caused admission for 3 wks where he also had a chest drain, haf investigations for bowel and liver cancer which had some showings on ct scan. The waiting was and is so painful and worrying. Was the  Discharged and re admitted within 4 days with a pulmonary embolism since chest drain had been removed. My dad was back in for another 3 and half wks where he was told on his own the worst news of the results he had advanced bowel cancer which was inoperable where the surgeon was really blunt and cold to him about it. He was told he had advanced bowel cancer to liver and lung. Amongst all this my dad then caught covid and moved to covid ward where he was for 2 wks. My dad only 65 yrs old became so weak with covid he couldnt even contact us for two wks. We were completely unprepared and devastated when we went to get him home as he had so much muscle waste and weight loss. Always been a big strong man with all this happening to him in such a short time it's so hard to adjust and absorb. He had to  come home with home oxygen in place. My dad looked like something out of a war camp and was crying his heart out. We all were crying so overwhelmed when we saw each other again, even harder cause iv never seen my dad upset in my life. I feel for him so much and feel helpless. Always protected me through my life. It breaks my heart seeing how much he has deteriorated in appearance. Covid has done a lot of damage and it makes me so angry. My dad had his appt with oncologist two wks later who said chemo would do more harm than good. Which was more devastating and heartbreaking news. We decided to get second opinion and I have done so much research to prepare for next appt. My dad appetite and strength is building slowly and appetite aswell as being able to do a bit more Independantly and not having to wear his oxygen all the time. He has his good days and bad days. I'm.worried about chemo being good idea or not? And if anyone has had it when they been weak? Is there good support from palli care team with chemo effects? I've also read about radio ablation for lung tumours which we will ask about to the next oncologist. I just want my dad to be helped so bad it hurts. It's so cruel.

  • Hi 

    I just want to welcome you to the community although I have to say I felt really sorry for you all reading your dads story . It’s such a difficult time for people trying to access the NHS and to catch covid which can be very debilitating on its own .

    However I am encouraged with the love and care from his family he is heading in a better direction . I would certainly highlight that difference to the team . Remember they only really get snapshots of how they were .

    You might like to chat this through with our helpline staff to see what they would recommend. The second year my mum had chemo they thought it better that she had it in a clinical setting with staff support on hand who were trained . She went in one day and they gave her an infusion slowly overnight . You could ask he was suitable to try chemo if something like that was available in his area .

    Keep up the good work .

    Court 

    Helpline Number 0808 808 0000

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to court

    Hi court 

    Thank you for your advice. It helps to hear another perspective. It's very true, the oncologist dont get the full picture and judge by what they have in front of them. My dad been doing so well. His iron levels also increased from 83 to 91 which the colorectal specialist nurse said was better and if treatment went ahead pending consultant decision then my dad would get further bloods done. 

    I feel we have been left in dark and a lot of what we know now has been through our own research. The specialist nurse said dad could have another few wks to recover still but I'm concerned about time for treatment if that's what my dad decided and also oncologist. And then it's the unknown if chemo is worth it. I feel scared either way. I also want to ask if a lung surgeon specialist and liver specialist are able to be involved as iv read about ablation treatment. 

    Can I ask if your mum was ever weak when she had treatment or at any point you felt there was no hope? I'm always trying to focus on positives best I can but the scary thoughts always manage to creep in. 

    Il take your advice on board for my dads appt and put that forward to them. 

    Thank you again, 

    Cracker123