Lost and afraid

Hi  welcome to the forum . Glad you found us . That sounds an overwhelming day for sure . Hope we can offer you some support as you wait for your results .

Others will hopefully pop on to share their experience with you .

Hope you have warmed up a bit too . Fortunately bowel cancer is very treatable when caught early and has many treatment options . Hopefully you will get get news and a solution to your obstruction soon . 
take care ,

Court 

Hi Adrian, I had one leigion curitive tumour in the bowel, found after I sent bowel test kit back. I got good results from chemo radiation. I’ve got no spread. I have been so scared. I have another mri scan tomorrow. It is the waiting I’ve found the worse thing. The people on thiis site are wonderful and I have phoned the Macmillan nurses so often I’m sure I’d get an invite to their next Christmas party. I hope all goes well with you take care. One thing I did before I found this site was google. Don’t do it. The only thing I google now is meditation.  Love & kindness

, your diagnosis sounds like mine, except they said it was cancer straight away. It is very 'rabbit in headlights' I found, totally surreal. But I found the system started to turn very quickly and after a month I had my operation. Might be longer nowadays. You may be offered a keyhole procedure which is quicker to recover from. But of course you may be benign but I guess they may have to do something to clear the bowel. I am a year after treatment and clear, so as court says, if the worst it is treatable. Its just the waiting is the worst part 

Stay safe

This might sound odd but thank you Adrian for sharing your experience. I have felt like a bit of a fraud being here because I haven’t even had a colonoscopy yet, much less a diagnosis. That said, it’s the waiting and not knowing that I am not so good at. I am booked in for a week today, pending a clear Covid test. In the meantime I am so grateful that there are clearly caring and supportive people out there. The positivity on here is very, very strengthening. So, thank you and every best wish Adrian and massive thanks to this online community. Love and best wishes. Tom

Hi Adrian, your reaction is exactly as mine was and you’ve oddly already done two things right! One is to get out and walk in the rain and the other is get out of your head how you are feeling.

Its time to let yourself be upset, like the saying goes “it’s ok not to be ok”. I suggest more walks in the rain, more talking on here and if you can drag yourself to a counsellor so you can talk to a stranger this has the potential to offer the most help. The relief is palpable, I promise. But it’s hard to take that first step so give yourself a break if you don’t fancy it.

Best thing I learned from having cancer is to give the problem to the doctors. Let them fix the problem. Your job is to look after how you feel. Admittedly my first two weeks after diagnosis were just a blur of, like you, literally walking in the rain crying. I think those first two weeks you should not have any expectation of yourself, but instead just so what comes naturally.

After that shock has settled try then to focus on things that you enjoy.its all about keeping your head happy. Sounds stupid, but this can be literally doing what you fancy - TV, walk (yep, in the rain), writing, running or whatever it is that can let you think or not think.

Youve yet to be told if it is cancer, but I expect you’ve convinced yourself it is, but either way I can tell you the one thing I got right when I was at the same time as you is to remain positive. Not magic to it, I just did the things I’ve said here: walk in the rain, talk to people, a counsellor and I did the things that made me happy. I even Tweeted about situation, every day up until the day I received my all clear.

Having gone through big surgery myself I can tell you, sat in your same situation, it’s not worth worrying about. I can’t tell you it’s a bed of roses, but meh it comes and goes like a rain storm and because I kept my positivity I honestly look back with happy memories. I know that sounds totally idiotic, and I’m not hippy heh, but it’s true. And that doesn’t mean I was giddy all the time, definitely good and bad days but my default centre was to be positive. And I could have only done that through doing the stuff I enjoyed/wanted to do.

You are bound to imagine the worst, I think it’s human nature, but at our age we know that whatever we can imagine is never what actually happens.

Hope you can keep us up to date how you are getting on.

good luck with your scan and thank you for the reply

Hi Adrian1965,

Its a terrible shock but all is not lost, read my profile for more,

TG

Hi i also had a colonoscopy yesterday, I had a 2.3 cm polyp removed from my sigmoid and biopsy taken from a suspect something on the ICV . Your are not alone in the waiting game . Ive got a copy of the discharge letter so have a feeling i know what might be coming my way but who knows until its been looked at.I hope you can manage to distract yourself until you hear some news.