I had a right hemicolectomy early in May and I've been recovering ok (I think) since then. Digestion is still tempremental (mainly constipation I think due to still not enough fibre in my diet) but my colorectal nurse keeps reminding me it's still early days. Also have had a wound infection this week, but hoping that is on the mend.
All the conversations at home have been about walking further each day, general 'life' things, family and planning holidays for when I'm finished with whatever treatment comes next. It's all been upbeat and positive, until I just got a phone call for my followup appointment on Monday after my histology was discussed in the hospital MDT.
My heart has sunk. I suppose it's the fear of what they might tell me.
I looked over at my better half, and all I could think was "why are they getting me in so quickly, what if they say it's the worst news....what if I'm going to die?"
I know I'm jumping the gun. All my pre op appointments and surgery were done within 3 weeks of diagnosis, so speed is not unusual at my hospital. The surgery was successful in getting out the tumour and all the lymph nodes and blood vessels around it that had been seen in my scans, but I am now in full on panic mode.
I suppose it's normal to have these worries, but I thought I was doing really well.......until just now.
I'm just reaching out to you guys, not to burden but to share in the hope getting this written will help me reflect and be calmer.
Sending love to all on their own journey.
