Positivity has failed me today

Hi Scooby, 

It's hard to stay positive all the time especially when we spend our time reassuring others we are fine. 

I was diagnosed in Oct 2023, and the tumour was removed straight away, and it was found to be T4N1 and in several lymph nodes. There was never a suggestion of having chemo first.

My chemo started in January 2024 and the oncologist said it needed to start within 12 weeks of the operation so you have plenty of time to have the op and recover. 

I hope this helps, it's a horrible period to go theoguh waiting to start treatment so be kind to yourself if you are not feeling positive all the time.

My son had his rectol cancer op a month ago he's been ok with everything u to

now but he is really struggling his bum is sore and he is feeling down 

 You are not the only one please try to stay positive things will get better but it's going to take time and everyone is different.

Worries will creep in no matter how hard you try. It's natural. 

Perhaps a re-frame will help. The surgery will cut out the cancer and then chemo can mop up anything that's missed.

In fact, I desperately wanted surgery when my cancer was discovered but it was too big and inoperable. So I had to have radiation and chemo to shrink it first. I worried that the delay in surgery would cause my cancer to spread. It did grow into new areas but it shrunk substantially in others and I was eventually able to have surgery.  

Trust that your treatment team is working to give you the best possible outcome. 

Thank you for replying, your words are a massive help today. 

Thank you.  I’m hope everything works out for your son and he’s soon back to good health. 

He was having a better day today then his stoma bag burst he was so upset it didn't take long to clean up but it as upset him

Thank you for your wise words.  They truly helped me today. I’m sure a new day will bring renewed optimism….i think getting busy with the day to day things of normal life will help me maintain my focus till the treatment starts. I’ve been tired today so have had too much time to sit and think.  

It’s still very early days for him, and I imagine a stoma is something that’s hard to adjust to, but as time passes and he recovers his strength Im sure he will get used to managing the bag with confidence   

Sending much love to you and your son.  

Thank you for your kind words it does help xx

I had many leaks and problems with bags in the beginning. I had one 48 hour period where I changed my entire appliance 4 times. The next week I did 3 changes in 24 hours. I was ready to tear my hair out and collapsed in a tearful heap. I felt so overwhelmed.  But that was the turning point. 

These days I rarely leak and when I do, I'm usually able to catch it before it makes much of a mess. It took a month or so but it really does get easier.